I Thought Happiness was Lubbock, Texas......

To understand the fullness and completeness of what God has brought us through and to, you have to go back to the beginning. And that, is Lubbock, Texas.

  

   Lubbock, Texas.....one man's middle of nowhere, one man's paradise. One man's road passing through, one man's road home. I could go on and on......One man's wide open spaces and big sky, another man's nothin' but nothing......nowhere.....for miles....for days......

  

   I was born in Lubbock and lived here until I was 5, moved all around and came back "home" after high school graduation. I left DFW at 17 and knew I would never go back. I couldn't tell you why or how, but I knew Lubbock was where I was supposed to be. Even though I hadn't visited there in 12 years, didn't know a single person there, had no family there, and wasn't sure what I'd do once I got there, off I went.

   I wish I could tell you that I knew immediately why God called me to West Texas, but I didn't. I wouldn't figure out why I was there until a couple of years later. As, it turns out....my parents retired to Lubbock, I learned about life in Lubbock, I committed my life to Christ in Lubbock and was called to ministry there. I met the absolute man of my dreams and future husband at First Baptist Lubbock, where we dated and later married. A few years later, we brought our new baby, Emerson, home to live in Lubbock at 6 months old. We began a new ministry, had sweet Berkley, made life long friends and built our dream home....in Lubbock.

   This wasn't necessarily our plan from the beginning, it's just how it happened....as it often does with God. Andy and I knew, when we married, we would move away and likely never return. It's hard to have a hometown in ministry. God took us to Austin and Spartanburg and just blessed us to death with great memories, the nicest, most loving people and an abundance of priceless experience. After Emerson was born, we began praying God would move us closer to family. We thought we'd make it as far as Atlanta, or maybe even Dallas. But, we never dreamed in a million years we'd come back to Lubbock. There's a lot we never dreamed.

   We have had the precious and unique opportunity to share the last 4 years with the overwhelming support, encouragement and friendship of both mine and Andy's parents in the same town. Now "Not everyone gets to do that, in fact most don't do that," you say. I know. Believe me, I know. I have also known everyday of 4 years how richly we were blessed to be in that small percentage who do. It's been heaven. We could have never done what we did in a new church without our family and friends. We could have  never moved into my old college rent house while we got on our feet, never started a worship ministry from nothing,  never survived Berk being in NICU 3 months with a toddler at home, never survived the last year. Had it not been for family and friends....and Lubbock.

   You see, being in Lubbock means free babysitting, friends we had known since 17, for me, and 6th grade, for Andy. It means limitless musical connections and opportunities, a network of friends and prayer warriors from 4 churches in our history. It means Alumni Band marches in September and Court Jester's over Christmas. It means going places and people say "Hello" because they know you or they know your daddy. It means you can get away for a weekend, because life is hard and marriage is important. It means every important occasion has had 4 beaming grandparents at it, Mimi the Great and a host of friends. It means building your dream home in a city you don't plan to leave. A life so great, why would you ever leave? Easy. You wouldn't.

   You wouldn't give this life up for more money, no need. You wouldn't give it up for more talent, better friends, or easier living, you already have it. You wouldn't give it up on a dare or a whim and you certainly wouldn't give it up over a grudge. Oh no, friends, you don't walk away from this life over pride or power, anger or attitude. If anything, this life is so good, it's all the reason you need to get over everything. There was a thousand reasons to stay. But, it only took one to leave. God called us to.

   God called us to leave and we knew He had. We could pretend it wasn't so or pretend we hadn't clearly known it. But, friends, there are worse things in life than having "your plans" change and walking in disobedience is one of them. I know, I've walked in it. It's misery. This doesn't mean obedience is easy. In fact for us, obedience in this area was truly painful and made us deeply, deeply sad. Only a couple people have heard me say this aloud, but leaving Lubbock was the most grown-up, sacrificial thing Andy and I had done in our married lives. God called us to lay down and leave one of the most precious seasons and places we had known and trust Him. And we did, but we cried all the way to the altar.

   But isn't God kind? Isn't He so merciful? God brought us TO a difficult decision only after He had held our hand THROUGH every step required to get there. You see, He knows us as only a daddy does. He knows that to take something, made of dust and ashes, skin and flesh, and make it reflect His glory is a painful impossibility without His hand. I love the picture Scripture gives about the Potter and His vessel.

   As the vessel, you get to that point where you feel like you  are actually almost done. He has worked out the biggest imperfections and impurities and now you're beginning to take form. You start to feel a sincere since of pride and gratitude, that His work is paying off and you can now see yourself becoming His vision. You're almost done. But then, the Potters hand, after careful examination, folds you back over into a distorted heap. It seems abrupt and unecessary, rude even, as you spin and spin with seemingly important pieces falling to the ground. "What was the point?!" you cry in disappointment.

   The Potter, gentle as ever, begins smoothing you out once again, shaping and consoling you. It wasn't at all abrupt and it is necessary. I thought we were at a stopping point, and He was just pausing to evaluate. Was I ready? Were we ready? Would we trust Him to do the work still needed? Would we trust Him to get us to who, and what and where He wanted us to be?Would we trust that His plan for us surpasses all we could have imagined? Would we trust Him to pick up and add back any necessary pieces that had fallen to the ground? Some of those pieces do go back, you know. They may be in new places or in different ways. But, in His hands we lack nothing we need.

   The real question, was did we trust Him enough to leave what was comfortable and familiar, beloved and treasured and follow wherever He leads? Yes, we did. And, already we see His perfect provision and His truly lavish love. God has a plan for us that has taken us far from home, to a new home. God is doing things we could have never dreamed, not in a million years.

   I thought happiness was Lubbock, Texas. And, it was. For a season...a precious season.

START HERE

*I've tried to go back and make these easier to read, if you are going in order. This is the first of the series that begin in January and is continuing still. Start here and read forward, with the next newest post after. Hope this helps!


When I started blogging, I was determined this was not going to be something I grew bored of, or quit after a few entries. And, truly, I didn't. In fact, I thought everyday of all the things I'd like to share. I could have filled pages and pages with all the things I considered saying and you would have read it. You would have read it and then shared the link, with someone you knew would share the link and my mission would have been accomplished. If that had been my mission.

When I started blogging, it was partly for my own enjoyment. As a stay at home mom with toddlers, the deep well of interesting adult conversation was, shall we say, not so deep. Oh it was comical alright, just not deep. We talk about potty things, baby doll things, starwars and then usually more taboo potty topics. Blogging gave me a voice and a way to share our families testimony about what God is doing in our lives. And that part is never dull. If you know me well, and hopefully even if you just know me a little, you have heard some of my favorite stories about what God is doing in the lives of the  Johnson's. I love, love, love to tell how amazing God's mercy, provision, faithfulness, and protection has been and continues to be for us. And His love, don't forget His love. Some of my favorite all time lyrics are from "The Love of God," The love of God is greater far than tongue and pen can ever tell......

Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.

So, when I stopped blogging, it was not because I ran out of precious material. I just didn't think I made a very good editor for a while. In this age, of technology and connectivity, how many of us have groaned at what we read in someones tweet or email, or status? In anger or even just mild irritation, we see someone toss away part of their witness or influence. You can see people are hurting and understand where they are coming from, but you groan because you also understand every word has a price. None of us are exempt from anger or wrath, justified or otherwise. But, in a world where you are trying to use your life to point people back to Christ and you are already encumbered by the flesh of humanity, your words and actions are currency. Your witness....my witness, my influence is a commodity that I guard very closely. Because someday, I'm going to want to tell you something, something challenging or encouraging, something that soothes and comforts pain, or something that edifies and blesses you........and I will want you to listen. And I hope you will. I hope you will, because at some point this year, you have watched me choose my words carefully or try to graciously receive questions I couldn't answer. But, though I tried in earnest to guard my tongue, I'm human too. Which brings us to why I stopped blogging. It's one thing to be mentally prepared for encounters that are predictable or anticipated, to have already prayed over your words and wisdom for the day. It's another thing entirely to give yourself the freedom to say whatever you want at 4 am, from a keyboard. I don't want to be that free, I'm a slave after all. " Do not do this only while you're being watched in order to please them, but be like slaves of the Messiah, who are determined to obey God's will." Ephesians 6:6

This year has been very difficult. Some of you have heard Andy or I say this, "This year has been very difficult." Difficult for a number of reasons, one of which is, it's hard to see God's hand well enough to savor what He is trying to teach you through painful circumstances. It's equally hard to distinguish where your testimony about how He has masterfully and carefully done this ends and getting your two cents in begins. You see, God was in this, in all of this. And we have learned and grown so much, in ways we couldn't possibly have without trials. But, in the midst of it, I didn't trust myself to discern between the things worth sharing and the things my flesh felt like sharing. And there is a difference. You know what your mama says "If you can't say anything nice....don't blog."

Every experience and every lesson, even the painful ones, leave something of value when they are gone and done. Not because of karma, or because we are nice people but because we have a Savior who redeems. The continuing work of Christ redeems every wound, every stripe, every tear, every breath and every word.

" And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. " Romans 8:28  That's not just something to put on camp shirts or cards. It's a promise, friends. It's a promise made by THE Promise-keeper. And that, is worth blogging about.

Praise Report for Emily Grace

This was shared by Brent and Loree last night. Praise God for this encouragement!! Continue to pray for this miracle, that we are beginning to see unfold!!!!

Psalm 146:1 "Praise the LORD.  Praise the LORD, O my soul."

 

 

Thank you, prayer warriors, for lifting our Emily Grace up to the LORD.  Here is an update from today's 28 week sonogram.

 

Praise the LORD slight movement was seen in her arms and fingers (not seen previously).

Praise the LORD she was in a new position today indicating body movement.  Previous sonograms all showed the exact same position.

Praise the LORD the doctor was able to identify fingers and toes (she has club hands & feet) and could even count her ten fingers.

Praise the LORD fluid level in the womb is well within normal limits.  The doctor no longer expects a premature delivery.

Praise the LORD her lungs appear to be developing normally suggesting increased likelihood of survival at birth.

 

Please continue to pray for Emily's joints to function and for her muscles to develop.  We will continue to keep you posted.

 

Love,

Brent and Loree