Here is how I see it- My actions and the heart behind them, can either create a hedge of protection around a garden growing, one that has variety and life, one that has roots running deep, bearing fruit and welcoming growth........ OR my actions can create a different barrier altogether- one with thorns and snares, that less protects and more limits and confines, one that keeps nourishment out and creates a dry, hostile land....... a place that wounds and bruises as you try to navigate it, a place that encourages fear. And it is my children who trod there, wherever it is- and it is I, who have placed them there. Makes you think of land management a little differently, no?
And, now we get to the part that some may hate, but you really shouldn't hate it............ This is NOT condemnation or criticism. I repeat, THIS IS NOT CONDEMNATION. And, if what you take away from this is condemnation, make a conscious decision to reject it - because THAT is the enemy. This is an invitation for us to think about things, discuss things and evaluate what we want to do with it........ Maybe we make some changes, maybe we don't........ either way is fine, but I'm warning you right now, be prepared for his attack. He HATES it when we pause to reflect, when we press in and welcome the Holy Spirit to challenge us........ just as humility delights our Father, it enrages the enemy. As much as our Father wants His children to be humble, teachable and wise- our enemy wants us to be puffed up and superior, beyond reproach or correction, excused from consequences, unwilling to acknowledge that we could be wrong...... about anything. He wants us to be so busy being offended that we couldn't possibly have time for improvement, we couldn't possibly slow long enough to yield ourselves and our motives, to examination by HIS gracious gaze.
Satan doesn't want us to feel challenged, he wants us to feel criticized. Criticized means you're being attacked and when you're attacked, you have no choice but to be defensive. But, in Christ we are not walled-off, wounded victims in need of defense- we are warriors, overcomers and victors in Him- who pursue wisdom and welcome truth. So, here we go- ya big winner!!
We are going to talk about Black Friday, at least we are going to start with it.......... and it's going to be okay. It's going to be be okay and as pointless as it sounds, it matters.
Let me start with this statement, and then I will repeat it many more times: There is nothing wrong with shopping on Black Friday or even Thursday. Let me prove my sincerity in saying that. The first, and one of the few times, I ever shopped early on Black Friday, was the year Berkley was born. Talk about time away from your kids! She was in the NICU........ and me spending a few hours out was healthy, helpful and entirely fine. She was born right before Thanksgiving and I was discharged late in the afternoon, the day before. I went home tired, emotionally and physically exhausted, from being in cardiac ICU all week, and with no baby....... and that was my first Thanksgiving with a daughter. Everything had happened so fast, there was none of those weeks of nesting or decorating, no wandering Target stocking up on onesies or diapers. It was just over, and though we made it through the worst, we still had months of waiting and watching ahead, and I knew it. We had our lunches and dinners, and about 5 AM I met my mom at Holland Gardens- for you West Texans- and I got a great price on sweet baby girl ornaments. And, it completely delighted me. I had such heart trouble, I hadn't walked in about 7 days and it felt so good to be out in the cold morning air........ it felt so good to be around smiling people, scurrying around. I had a chai latte and the whole experience was completely cathartic for me. I don't regret it and I'm not embarrassed about it.
I haven't had much opportunity since then for Black Friday snooping, mostly because we are usually on the road traveling or otherwise obligated, but I too, often hear the call of super discounted Sonic toothbrushes from Kohl's, the mattress toppers I didn't know I needed or...... "What's that?? A sale on graphic tee's?!?!? Um, Yes Please!!!" I really am quite a pro at waiting for the one store to do the coupon, that you can combine with the bucks, PLUS the additional discount when you use your card....... and just like a wild cat of the Serengeti, I circle.... wait, circle more ( in the parking lot) and pounce!! Fleeces (polar, not biblical,) jammies and jeans for the babies!!!! How P31 of me, right?!?! It's in the Bible, you know?
"She is like the merchant ships, (I have an inactive ETSY account that I never sold anything on, but I have fully intended to knit, make bows, explore my non-degree area of graphic design and chalk art...... and the pallets! All those stupid, pallets!!) bringing her food from afar." (I know where a Marketstreet is and occasionally purchase high end probiotics from Whole Foods.)
"She gets up while it is still night (because Walmart's 24 hours and grocery shopping with children is like taking un-caged, ruthless and hostile monkeys- who develop sensory issues, before you pass the Redbox outside- into a carnival....... and I die a tiny bit inside every time we go as a group) she provides food for her family (true, it's kinda required and my meals do meet sorta, halfway-ish, semi-rigorous standards, but they're sure nothing to photograph or compile an heirloom cookbook over) and portions for her female servants." ( yeah, my female servants........ cause I've got 'em...... in my alternate reality on the Abbey)
"She considers a field and buys it; ( Did I mention I'm from Lubbock, folks? I've considered a field or two....... and a stockyard....... and a feedlot when the wind blows....... I'll leave that to people who have a clue what to do with it, it's what's best.) out of her earnings she plants a vineyard." ( I committed 90 days to growing herbs from seedlings, so the children could see life in all of it's phases and I could end up with copious amounts of basil......... Day 70- Princess and the Toad decided to play Robin and Batgirl near my special "growing window". I vacuumed up ridiculous amounts of organic dirt and about 5 wicked small, barely visible single leaves. The only thing they saw in all of it's phases, was Mama. NEVER. AGAIN.)
"She sees that her trading is profitable (because there's an app for that) and her lamp (back-lit glow of my candy crushing oracle, I mean phone) does not go out at night." (because that's when I have my "quiet time"....... or what I sometimes refer to as "Sara, Get It Together" time)So yeah, I'm pretty much nailing that life like a boss. I bet Ol' Miss P31 doesn't salivate like Pavlov's dog every time there's a ding in her inbox alerting her to doorbusters, online blitz sales, coupons, bucks or BOGO's. That is a whole different conversation, check your inbox friends, what does it say about you? I'm currently working my way through about 200 things I need to unsubscribe from. It's a journey.
So this year, I had no real need or desire to shop, but even if I had, my whole house was sick with the flu and I was exactly 55 minutes from even sub-par shopping, or I probably would have found my way somewhere. But, as I watched all the cell phone videos roll in, I was grateful to be home. Did it seem different to anyone else this year?? For whatever reason, hearing all the reports of people fighting over stuff just broke my heart. It was probably exactly the same as years prior, but somehow in my spirit it looked and felt more desperate, more frantic......... and it made me deeply sad. I was sad for our country, sad for our families, just sad that this is our state of affairs.
Can anyone relate to that? I saw someone comment on FB how ironic it was and how only in America, would we celebrate a time of thanksgiving and being grateful for what we have, with going out and literally fighting over getting more. That is a sad thing. The more I saw, the more convicted I became about what my actions say to my children about my priorities. What if I had gone out shopping? What if I had taken them with me? What if I had to explain people yelling and elbowing each other over toys?
I kept seeing on Pinterest these cutesie little homemade plaques, that someone had expertly manifested in their craft room (gag me) ((totally jealous of crafty people)) I think I may have just invented a higher level of punctuation! I just parenthe-sied my parenthesis, giving insight into my insight!!! Brilliant! (not brilliant) ((near illiterate)) I digress....... cutesie little signs that said "Gratitude turns what you have, into enough."
All day long I kept thinking, what does that say to my kids if I spend 30 days telling them how grateful I am for all that we have; how as long as we have our health and each other...... we are rich, how we have plenty and there are some with nothing and how satisfied and blessed we should feel......... until midnight tonight, when all of that changes and now we need more. What does that say to my kids, if I tell them all of that, the whole month of November, and then the during the few days that we have to relax and enjoy time together, I leave them and choose to be with strangers? Remember that new phase my kids are in? That one, that is more aware and watching me and their daddy to see what's important to us and what will one day be important to them? Yep, that's the one. Totally cramping my style.
I am the quintessential hunter-gatherer, wielding my smartphone and groupons like weapons, highly skilled, highly dangerous....... but I find the role I'm most concerned with right now, is that of shepherd- and I'm just terribly consumed with the welfare of my precious little lambs. And my little lambs, could care less if I got a deal. In fact, there's a lot that I buy, that they could honestly care less about........ but they care about our family time. They will remember our family traditions at holidays. They will remember how we lived out Thanksgiving.
Let me say again, there is nothing wrong with shopping after Thanksgiving. This is not taking a jab at people who did. This is not a call to believers to boycott something. I am simply telling you what I am struggling with right now and how I got there. Me staying home this year was NOT because I'm wiser, or deeper, or love my family more....... it was mostly lack of initiative and opportunity. But, I won't be out on the next Black Friday and it will be entirely on purpose. Maybe not for everyone and maybe not even every year for me, but I know right now- for me specifically, God is calling me out and away from some things, asking me to lay down some things that are not necessarily bad, but maybe not beneficial.
You see, we all have free will....... and just as the lost either choose to follow Christ or choose not to, the believer must sometimes choose what we can do in freedom and what we should do in freedom. Does this ring true for anyone else? Here's a terrible example, but it works: I used to really love scary movies growing up, love them all- suspense, mystery, crime, paranormal...... you name it. Something about having kids changes that, I'm not sure why, it just does. But beyond that, the Lord really started dealing with me about fear........ in my life I've had more than my fair share of fear- fear of dying, fearing of my kids dying, fear of ruin, fear of failure and on and on. The more the Lord began to heal me from fear, the more convicted I became about what I watched. As silly and insignificant as it seemed, I knew the Lord was calling me to lay these things down. And, He began to show me through His word, that I was not made for fear, it's not an emotion that my mind or spirit is designed for and it's not something that I should be seeking out or enjoying. He has given us a spirit of power, love and a sound mind...... and if I wanted to to be a courage filled warrior, then I needed to detox thoroughly- so that when I did feel fear creep in, I could identify it, know it's the enemy and reject it. Now, are scary movies or 20 years of Law and Order reruns bad? Nah, probably not. Am I bound by biblical commandment to avoid them? Nope. But, has it benefited me to give them up? Absolutely! Would I trade the freedom from fear for the freedom to do what I want? No way!!!
In my stumbling walk through faith, I have found that the more I really know my Savior- the more His Word is hidden in my heart, the more I really "get" the freedom I have found in Him and the grace required to provide it........... the more reverent I become........... the more reverent I become, the more willing I am to accept boundaries. And, not just accept boundaries, like a child who has no choice........ I WANT THEM, I need them and I know it. That seems like a great contradiction doesn't it? More freedom = more rules? It's not though, and it's the most beautiful picture. You see, it wasn't just my salvation and eternity that was bought on Calvary, it was my FREEDOM. Let that sink in for a minute. Colossians and Galatians tell us that God has purchased our freedom with His own blood. But, it's a different kind of freedom, one that is pure and absolute, and entirely opposite of what the world tells us it is. Christ's shed blood bought our freedom from the bondage of the law- a life that required ritual to have a relationship........ His blood bought our freedom from the curse and condemnation of sin, He became the sacrifice to pay my sin debt and to save me from death- and His covering allows His blessings to fall on me, instead of the curses I deserve. That just overwhelms me to even think about! That is freedom! That is life changing, attitude adjusting freedom.
Freedom is not just an idea or word for the world, or believers, to throw around as something we should pursue or are entitled to. Yes, even believers......... Christians love to remind the world and other Christians of our "freedom," usually in the context of why we are or aren't doing something we should, we get into competing with each other to see how "not under the law" we are. We think that freedom in Christ is free will without consequence, an excuse to do what we will and it's not...... it's so much more.
Freedom in Christ, is not being consumed by guilt and despair at the end of each and every single day because the weight of sin is so great. It is being given the promise of healing and deliverance from everything that seeks to keep us in chains. It is knowing with absolute certainty, that in EVERY trial my ultimate victory remains secure. I am free from worry, fear, insecurity and doubt and it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with HIM! I can't earn it, I can't lose it!
It's this amazing gift, that when we fully understand the breadth and depth of, we want to protect and preserve it. I don't ask the Holy Spirit to convict or prune me because I'm glutton for punishment, I ask because I "get it!" I get, that my freedom and life is blood bought, by Love- a gift that is highly treasured and I want to guard it and use it fully and wisely. Going back to Red Doors, my desire for obedience, or serving God with my life is not because I'm in bondage, it's because I'm BELOVED! Freedom is not my reason to do what I want, it is my reason to do what HE WANTS.
Have I said yet that shopping on Black Friday is not bad?? Or whatever day your bargain hunting little heart desires. It's not....... and I am all about walking in real freedom, I hope you see that. If I had my way, we'd be standing in Macy's at 4 AM, eating only fistfuls of bacon, getting tattoos and preaching the Gospel just because we can, Hallelujah! But, Satan is a cunning adversary and if he can't lead us into blatant corruption or temptation, he is just as satisfied corrupting the benign things we enjoy. Wanting to love on your family or buy gifts for loved ones is not bad, wanting to be a good steward of your resources is not bad, those are good things. But, Satan takes our healthy desires and appetites and turns them into unhealthy obsessions and next thing you know Pap-paw has got a knife in someone's leg at the WalMart! What in the world, Pap-paw?!?!?!
We may not be actively seeking out harmful,
hurtful or dangerous things....... but, our foe has come to steal, and
sometimes he steals things that were once fun or harmless......... and
he twists it and distorts it, until it starts to reflect more of his
heart and less of our own. Forget Black Friday, I doubt the Lord cares much at all about the actual act of shopping, on a particular day........ but He cares about the heart behind it......... sub in anything that
was once okay, good even........ and now more and more, seems to
be disappointing and messed up. Is there anything that can't be taken to a less wise, less beneficial extreme?
Make no mistake, you will never hear of
Satan saying, "Nahhh, I'm just gonna leave that one area alone. Let them
have something fun to do. I've got my hands full what with wars,
robbing and discouraging people...... Betty send a memo, to the
principalities and dark rulers of the world.......... No one messes with
holidays, kids select sports, gift giving, social media or prime-time
programming." Anyone see the last big holiday parades???? Did you ever think you'd have to encourage your kids to watch Disney because you couldn't be sure what they would see in parade?? Are you kidding me?!?! There is nothing sacred to Satan, he's not sentimental about our traditions. That totally goes against what
scripture tells us of his nature. He is unrelenting, malicious, creative
and appealing........ and he wants it all. He wants every moment, every
treasure, every habit....... HE IS NOW THE DARKNESS ROAMING THE CITY,
seeing which door welcomes him in and which one is hidden in red.
I don't know........ maybe someday, Berkley and I will be out prowling around with our Starbucks alternative, conservative coffees (lol), shopping for the boys........ and the boys will be looking at gadgets or some other manly things together and we'll meet up for pancakes and that will be our tradition. But, it's not right now. Right now we hang back, even though it would be fine if we didn't. We hang back because things are changing and though I can't adequately verbalize why, my spirit is resisting it. And, I feel my spiritual foot drawing a line in the sand.
And, I wish the line was at something a little more important, a little weightier and less ridiculous than Black Friday- a tad more Gladiator and a tad less Clueless. I'm way more comfortable going all in on principle, the black and white- the wrong and so clearly right. Those hills you spot a mile away, and though you dread the walk up, you've steeled your nerves....... to make your stand. I've lived there. I've died on those hills. And, it's not like the movies- there's no anthem blaring or glory there, no applause from the crowd............ no crowd at all. Let me tell you from experience friend, standing on principle, stepping out in faith and surrendering to obedience.......... trading free will for freedom........ most often looks foolish or crazy, or both. It's rarely recognized, rarely applauded and rarely done in a crowd- and though it always has a price, in our experience- is always worth it, because God always honors it.
But, not every opportunity for spiritual or moral greatness is very grande, sometimes it's silly or secondary, gray and subtle.......... Not every chance to reveal the strength of our character, the guts of our guts- is played out in a crowded coliseum, in fact those moments are quite rare. But, I think the truly great must have honed their skills on a thousand of the mundane, daily grind kind of victories- the ones that no one was watching, the ones in front of their kids or family......... in the car and in the yard, the ones that seemed silly or irrelevant, the ones that were nothing until they were something......... over boundaries and rules...... or GQ interviews. Sometimes even foolish things, require principled people. We don't get to choose every teachable moment, every opportunity where words and actions will matter more than normal, but day in and day out, we choose how we will respond.
I bet countless parents have been mistaken for sticks in the mud or prudes.......... until they came face to face with a lion.......... and the audacity of their courage was truly revealed.
Our world IS changing, the incorruptible is being corrupted, the sacred is now secular, wisdom is rude and the meaningless- exalted. And, while we may be a ways off from the impending destruction of Sodom, that doesn't mean God is not calling us to leave the city. Now, that's metaphorically of course, unless you want to move to the country and that's totally awesome, if you do. Better said, we may not be fleeing the city as fire rains down, but I believe as Christians, we will continue to be called to "leave" with our hearts and minds, our habits and actions. The more the "city" falls, the more we have to keep taking a step back from it, evaluating how close we want to be to the fire or rubble, evaluating what we are doing and why. It will be harder and harder to be a people set apart, especially, if we are willing to give up nothing.
Do we look like a nation who is accepting the reality of our changed economy? Do we look like a nation who is adapting to a thriftier lifestyle? Do we look like people who are becoming leaner, wiser and more focused in this dangerous world, people who have learned from their chastening? I don't think we do. I think we look like people who are scared....... scared that if we don't have the stuff, and the stuff doesn't define us anymore, we don't have anything else that does. I think we look like weary exiles, clinging to our crutches and our spiritual flesh- who'd rather stay in bondage than walk to freedom empty handed. I think we look like people who've confused trappings with truth.......... like people who are desperately, frantically trying to hold on to the life we once had, the comforts, the freedom and stuff, we once had. Always looking back......... well, helloooo salty lady!
Shalom Y'all
