Best Party Ideas Ever

This site has the most amazing party ideas for grown ups and kiddos. It makes me want to cancel my party and  apologize for trying to have one with such inadequate hostess skills. Seriously. www.hostessblog.com

My banner over him is love......

Sweet Toad's Birthday

    And, so it is. 4 years ago we were blessed with one of our life's most precious gifts, Sweet Toad. The only thing I wanted more in my life than to marry Andy Johnson was to have kids with him. I knew with every fiber of my being that God had called me to be a wife and mother and, before Emerson, I feared I never would.

    I had been told when I was younger that having children would be difficult maybe even impossible for me. And, I have to admit, I let the enemy get a stronghold there. I never questioned it but I just accepted it for my life and only once laid it at my Father's feet. I felt like I was being mature, no need to be upset over things you can't change, I just tried to prepare myself and Andy that we would have "trouble" here. 

   The only time I took it to the Father was the month before I found out I was pregnant. I'm not sure why, because we weren't even trying, but I found myself overwhelmed with sadness over this. I had known this would be the case since I was a teenager and had never really taken this to the Lord before. But one day after school, I remember coming home and just weeping sad and bitter tears. I wept because I knew that for me to be a mother would require a long, exhausting and probably fruitless process.  I wept, because I understood that and I knew Andy may not. I wept because I felt disappointed and sad. I wept as I laid it as His feet, this most secret and deep desire of my heart. I finally just gave it away. 
    I remember Andy coming home that day and finding me sobbing. He asked what was wrong and I told him I wasn't pregnant and would never be. Poor Andy, he was so puzzled. "Are we trying????" "No!" I sobbed. Poor guy, we were thousands of miles from home, all he could do was give me a hug and take me to PF Changs to feel better.
   Little did I know, that in a few weeks we would find out we were expecting Emerson. And, that in a few short months we would have to fight so hard to keep him. It's funny what the Lord brings to mind.