When I started blogging, I was determined this was not going to be something I grew bored of, or quit after a few entries. And, truly, I didn't. In fact, I thought everyday of all the things I'd like to share. I could have filled pages and pages with all the things I considered saying and you would have read it. You would have read it and then shared the link, with someone you knew would share the link and my mission would have been accomplished. If that had been my mission.
When I started blogging, it was partly for my own enjoyment. As a stay at home mom with toddlers, the deep well of interesting adult conversation was, shall we say, not so deep. Oh it was comical alright, just not deep. We talk about potty things, baby doll things, starwars and then usually more taboo potty topics. Blogging gave me a voice and a way to share our families testimony about what God is doing in our lives. And that part is never dull. If you know me well, and hopefully even if you just know me a little, you have heard some of my favorite stories about what God is doing in the lives of the Johnson's. I love, love, love to tell how amazing God's mercy, provision, faithfulness, and protection has been and continues to be for us. And His love, don't forget His love. Some of my favorite all time lyrics are from "The Love of God," The love of God is greater far than tongue and pen can ever tell......
Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade;
To write the love of God above
Would drain the ocean dry;
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.
So, when I stopped blogging, it was not because I ran out of precious material. I just didn't think I made a very good editor for a while. In this age, of technology and connectivity, how many of us have groaned at what we read in someones tweet or email, or status? In anger or even just mild irritation, we see someone toss away part of their witness or influence. You can see people are hurting and understand where they are coming from, but you groan because you also understand every word has a price. None of us are exempt from anger or wrath, justified or otherwise. But, in a world where you are trying to use your life to point people back to Christ and you are already encumbered by the flesh of humanity, your words and actions are currency. Your witness....my witness, my influence is a commodity that I guard very closely. Because someday, I'm going to want to tell you something, something challenging or encouraging, something that soothes and comforts pain, or something that edifies and blesses you........and I will want you to listen. And I hope you will. I hope you will, because at some point this year, you have watched me choose my words carefully or try to graciously receive questions I couldn't answer. But, though I tried in earnest to guard my tongue, I'm human too. Which brings us to why I stopped blogging. It's one thing to be mentally prepared for encounters that are predictable or anticipated, to have already prayed over your words and wisdom for the day. It's another thing entirely to give yourself the freedom to say whatever you want at 4 am, from a keyboard. I don't want to be that free, I'm a slave after all. " Do not do this only while you're being watched in order to please them, but be like slaves of the Messiah, who are determined to obey God's will." Ephesians 6:6
This year has been very difficult. Some of you have heard Andy or I say this, "This year has been very difficult." Difficult for a number of reasons, one of which is, it's hard to see God's hand well enough to savor what He is trying to teach you through painful circumstances. It's equally hard to distinguish where your testimony about how He has masterfully and carefully done this ends and getting your two cents in begins. You see, God was in this, in all of this. And we have learned and grown so much, in ways we couldn't possibly have without trials. But, in the midst of it, I didn't trust myself to discern between the things worth sharing and the things my flesh felt like sharing. And there is a difference. You know what your mama says "If you can't say anything nice....don't blog."
" And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. " Romans 8:28 That's not just something to put on camp shirts or cards. It's a promise, friends. It's a promise made by THE Promise-keeper. And that, is worth blogging about.
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