I almost forgot about the house between houses. To be honest, I didn't think it was worth mentioning, inconsequential as it was. But, the more I thought about it, this little house had it's own purpose and season.
You have to admit, though, it looks sad even in the picture. Completely unintentional, but it does seem a little dramatic right?!
When we landed in Lubbock, we landed at my old college rent house. Not a coincidence, it was recently vacated. It was such a blessing to have somewhere to live, no strings attached, until we found a permanent house. But, there were strings attached. In fact, there was a lot attached, not just strings.
If you know my testimony at all, you know college was a difficult season for me. A season of tremendous growth, but also the painful pruning that preceded it. This house, though a blessing indeed, was also the burial ground of the old me. To me, it was a constant reminder of stupid decisions, lost scholarships, failed classes, failed friendships, wasted time and opportunity.....this was the house where every disappointment I had in myself lived........and now I was moving back in with it.
When God got a hold of me in college, I sold out completely and literally walked away from the life I had. I left jobs, friends, degree plans...... I changed schools, I changed majors, I changed addresses and never once went back. I lived in town 3 or 4 more years and never had the desire to even drive by my old house. I clung to these verses:
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17.
And I really was a new creation! His words ARE trustworthy and true! It wasn't pretending or being a hypocrite, it wasn't hiding anything. I was finally walking in the freedom and grace, we were all meant to, and it gave me clarity, confidence, hope and a future. And that's the part I wanted to see and celebrate everyday. It's part of my testimony, or more accurately God's testimony in me, and I have no problem sharing with young people all of the highly effective ways I learned to not succeed in college. But, God has done so much more since then. It makes me sad when I hear someone share their testimony and the only thing that comes to mind is their salvation experience as a youngster. Yes, it's important, vitally important. But that's not where His work was faithfully completed, it's just where it began. A yielded spirit should be able to testify to so much more.
And yet somehow, God's mysterious ways led me back to where I started. And this time, I brought Andy, Emerson and soon to be Berkley. Now, none of this history necessarily interfered with daily living. I don't know that I've even really shared how I felt about it with anyone, except Andy. We still made precious memories and had good times there, I just wasn't very motivated to get to comfortable or settle in there. I needed it to be temporary and it was...for 3 years.
And, wouldn't you know that when it mattered most, we couldn't have been in a better place when Berkley was born. One of things that made our little house so inconvenient was that it was entirely across town from the church, grandparents, etc. It was too far to have a home group there and too far to go back and forth very much, with babies and naps.
But, it was at the most a mile and half from the NICU. The only way I could have lived closer to Berky for the 3 months she was in the NICU was if I had lived in a trailer in the parking lot, as so, so many did.
That little house made it possible for me to get things done at the house, spend time with Emerson, be available for Andy or church and still go see that sweet thing whenever I wanted.
Thank you, thank you Jesus for that sweet little house on 23rd. Thank you for providing it so we could come to Lubbock seamlessly. Thank you for the precious two 1st birthdays, one 2nd birthday and one 3rd birthday around a cramped little table. Thank you for the rooms filled with crashing drums or the beeps of Berky's heart monitor, that you could hear no matter where you were. Thank you for meeting the needs of our growing family in giving us this house.....and the next.
