The Building of The House

   *Disclaimer- We are gonna build the house and leave the house, so you hear the best part sooner, then go back to talk about living in the house. This makes sense in my head.


   When Andy and I came to Lubbock, there was a standing offer from a builder in our church. He would build a custom home at cost for any of the pastors on staff. We had been there 2 1/2 years and hadn't really felt led to take him up on this generous offer. After things settled down with Berkley and our finances, we began looking at houses. We wanted to be close to the church, in a good school district and we wanted to be able to entertain in our home. We spent several weeks looking, but continually came back to the builder.

 

   Please understand, there were a number of reasons that we were cautious and hesitant about building a house. It was not at all a case of us dying to do this or refusing other options. It was never something we were cavalier about. There's a lot of gray area in building a house. If you have ever done this before, you know it's easy to go over budget and easy to take longer than you anticipated. In fact, I would say it's normal if you do both. But we are not normal people...no snickering. We didn't have a flexible budget that gave us latitude and we really had a short window between our busy seasons that would work to move. From the beginning, everything in the natural made us want to wait and find something else. But, our spirits kept drawing us towards building. We weren't sure why we felt like the Lord was leading us to do this, but we did feel certain He was. So we began praying, we prayed for protection through the process, wisdom in decision making, and that finances would come available as needed. And, in March we broke ground on THE HOUSE.

As soon as it was framed, we had our family and both sets of grandparents come to the house and we had a house blessing. This does not involve incense or holy water. Each of us had spent several days praying about what Bible verses we felt the Lord leading us to and then we showed up with babies, blankets, Bibles and Sharpies....lots of Sharpies.

   We went room by room and prayed in agreement  over every specific area. We prayed for each of the kids rooms by name, asking for protection, wisdom and joy as we parent them. We prayed for their tender little hearts, as this would be the room they would learn about Christ, say bedtime prayers and one day ask Him into their hearts. And then we each wrote our chosen Scriptures.                    

   And, then we prayed in the Name of Jesus, by the blood of Jesus that the Enemy be bound from our children, our marriage and our home. Because we have just enough Holy Ghost in us!  Ha-laaaay-loooooo!

  

   There is no magic in what we did. It's not any kind of enchantment or spell. It's way more powerful than that. What we, did as a family, was acknowledge that everything we have comes from God. Our children, our marriage, our resources and yes, our new home was a direct result of His grace and provision. And because He has blessed us, we were committing to keeping our covenant with Him, in how we preserve each of these areas. Andy and I are very easy going and spontaneous people, but we are intentional and deliberate about things that are important. We were intentional about building the house. We didn't know how important this house would be, but we knew it was important and we knew we needed God in it. We wanted God's Name and Word in the foundation we built on, on the beams that would support our earthly covering, on the walls and in the halls, on the doors that we would pass through.....in and out of our sanctuary, in and out of our mission field.



Thoughtfulness went into every phase of the house. Even the lot was not an accident. The only lot the builder had available when we decided to build was less than half a mile and directly in front of the church with nothing separating us but a field and a dirt road. We could walk out our front door and to the South, see  our church, completely unobstructed. In the coming months, I often found myself standing in the yard, looking towards the church.



This verse, Hebrews 13:15 will be significant later.


    Anyone who has a home, whether they built it or not, has a tremendous sense of ownership and affection for their home. And, it was no different for us......Maybe a little different.....perhaps a tad.

    My first career was as an interior designer. I spent years planning and designing other peoples homes and I thoroughly enjoyed it. But, as I'm sure you can imagine, there is some level of frustration when you are always creating someone else's vision. It's still fun, but with every project you find yourself spending as much time thinking about what you would have done, if it were yours.
  
   Don't get me wrong, I got to fix up whatever house we were in, however I wanted to. (Thank you, honey!) But, building your own home from the dirt up, is every designer's dream job. In my case, outlandishly unrealistic fantasy job. People in ministry don't build new houses. At least, not very often. Perhaps better said, people in ministry don't go into ministry with this on their short list of objectives.
  
   Our builder gave us lots of freedom and opportunity to make choices and I took full advantage of every one. I got to pick out every light, every mirror and every knob. And not out of a set choice list or predetermined options. If I could find it reasonably, I could use it. It was the most fun I'd ever had! And it wasn't just picking out stuff either, I got to design every inch of every room. Inches, people! My favorite thing in my former, glamorous (Ha!) life was kitchen design. I spent weeks drawing elevations of cabinets, squeezing every inch out of every foot. I spent countless hours walking out traffic patterns and testing better heights and widths. I'm sure Andy thought I was a lunatic, as soon as he would come home I would start laying out wrinkled sheets of graph paper, taped together, with bits of fruit or smudgy finger prints all over them. And I would give him my "pitch" of why this one must go here or there or how ridiculous kitchens designed by men were...neanderthals. He would just smile and say "Great." "I love it." I knew he was just as excited as I was and didn't have the words to express it....enter winking emoticon here. Y'all by the time it was time to actually cut a piece of wood for a cabinet, I had done an entire virtual model of the kitchen using nothing but eyeshadow and the Crayola 48 as my palette! I was a nut! It was so gratifying and so fun. I enjoyed the whole process, hang ups and all.

 

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Overwhelmed

   Let me briefly interrupt our story, to tell you how completely humbled and overwhelmed I am at how God is using this. I simply wasn't prepared and now feel grossly inadequate. We are in this unique window of time, having left the church we were serving in December and beginning our new one in January......I don't move until next week and Andy is already there. I don't really have anything to do while I wait except play Strawberry Shortcake and pretend to be the lesser known Jedi, Mom-wow-loon (Emerson's choosing.) So I thought I would start my blog again and share the parts worth sharing from the last year.
   But, I couldn't have imagined how it has impacted me. I put my first blog, in seven months, on the wall 10 days ago. There have been just under 2000 views. I only know who you are by your comments, messages or likes on FB, I only see numbers on the blog. I have received such encouragement from so many friends either through the blog or on FB and I am so sincerely appreciative. But yesterday, I began hearing from your friends, some are co-workers or go to church with you, some are family or connected to you in some other way. Some are anonymous and I don't know them at all and maybe you don't either. It stunned me. It immediately made me want to choose my words more carefully, not for the sake of grammar, but really, choose my words more carefully.
   It made me want to make sure I was telling you the right thing, in the right way and for the right reasons. But, I'm not a pastor or a speaker....and when I try to think about what you, whomever you are, needs to hear or what would encourage you most, I draw a blank. I got nothin'. I really would like to share something surprisingly mature or insightful....but I say things like "I got nothin'." And it's not a typo, I mean exactly that. I think freakin is an acceptable adverb.  I have no understanding of comma usage, I use dots........... excessively and write "yeah" when I mean "yea." I refer to my eldest born as Toad and my youngest as Pumpkin Patch and don't know why. I'm not quite sure how to compensate for all that or who I am. I've spent the last day and a half trying to think of something to say that is somehow more worthy of your time than stories about houses I've lived in.
   I'm so honored that you are here, so deeply, deeply honored. But, all I can do is tell you what the Lord is doing in our lives. If I limited my posts to "deep thoughts" or what I think about such and such or our daily activities, it would get old very quickly, and it still may. I am not an "interesting" person, I don't mean that in a pathetic or pitiful way, I wouldn't necessarily say I'm boring either. I think of those commercials with "the Most Interesting Man Alive," and his sage advice for precarious situations, in exotic places. I've traveled more in the last 3 months than in the last 5 years and never even left Texas. Right this minute, I have in my purse, one single black trouser sock that Toad wears at meals because he thinks it makes him look like Anakin, post cut off hand....loose M&M's, 'cause we are potty training Berky and a new 2012 calendar with 3 important dates penciled in......that's right, 3 and they are all next week. But, what God is doing is the exciting part, it is the Salt and interest of anything that has ever or will ever happen in my life....and yours too. And I will gladly tell you about it, if you will graciously let me.
   Please pardon my punctuation or lack there of. Pardon my wandering train of thought, it so often gets derailed. I am working towards a point, but it's not always chronological, or apparent for that matter. And, please pardon my illustrations, they are often about the mundane. This is often how my understanding of the Lord is....... I frequently miss the emphasis, chase after Him down meandering roads, after I missed the turn and end up in places I didn't dream I would be. And, there He is, waiting....on me....and on you.

Thank you again, I am richly blessed by your presence.
Sara

                                                MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU........................................

Financial Peace

   The next part of our story goes in a bit of a different direction, but is integral to seeing the complete picture of "THE HOUSES." If I was writing a book, this would be the chapter where tithing and giving are the mega-themes and it would be called Financial Peace.

   After Berkley was born and we settled back into our life, the next  devastating season began shortly thereafter.....as the medical bills started rolling in. Berkley was born at 28 weeks, spent months in the NICU, weeks in an isolated critical care room and at 6 months old had acquired a serious amount of debt for such a tiny thing. Not to mention that I had been in ICU for a week, had blood and labs drawn round the clock and sometimes every two hours when I was at my worst. The night Berky was born, I was about 20 minutes away from having a pacemaker put in, so there was a stream of cardiologists and other specialized Dr's coming in and out. Between Berkley and I, we had $516,000 in medical expenses.......after insurance.

   Whatever was supposed to be filed when we started our job in Lubbock wasn't filed or wasn't found. Either way we had minimal medical coverage. During my pregnancy, I thought we were working towards paying a $2000 deductible and we were actually plowing through a $2000 maximum and had no idea. It took several weeks for things to be filed with insurance and there were multiple departments and doctors doing separate bills, so oblivious to the disaster headed towards us, we began making our payments as we received bills. It wasn't until 2 or 3 months later that we started getting the ones for $35,000.....$60,000....$225,000. I remember one afternoon the phone rang and an automated "courtesy" recording was on the other end. I laughed out loud when I heard the recording announce to me in fragmented speech, "Good afternoon....you owe $74,000....dollars.....would you...like to pay.....over the phone?" Ha! Would I like to pay over the phone?! Sure!!! Let me just get my credit card, or better yet, cash!!

   I spent hours a day, for weeks and months, trying to get to the bottom of where things went wrong. And my sweet dad probably doubled that. At the time, he was our church's associate pastor. Even though the errors had occurred long before he was there, as a dad, as the administrator, as a pastor....he was just sick. Physically, sick. Everyone was. I had never known before the absolute consuming burden that accompanies debt and financial stress. But, I knew it now.

   As the spouse who handled our finances, I was hearing in person, every day, how impossible our situation was. It wasn't the hospitals fault. Our insurance company certainly wasn't going to admit fault that cost them hundreds of thousands of dollars. We didn't qualify for financial assistance of any kind from anywhere. There was no solution. Andy and I felt very strongly that we wanted and needed to continue to pay medical bills. Berkley and I had received extraordinary care by an amazing hospital system and they all deserved to be paid, everyone of them. But, we also found out that even though we were paying bills monthly, the hospital as a whole doesn't handle payment plans.....they all go to collections and you work out your financing with them. The only way to not go to collections was to pay balances in full, an impossibility for us. There was no way to avoid destroying our credit. We could spend literally our entire lives paying down these bills and never pay them off. We could spend literally our entire lives paying this debt only to pass the remainder on to our adult children.
   I used to wonder how people found themselves declaring bankruptcy. How do you get yourself in a situation where bankruptcy is even a consideration, much less a necessity? And, now I knew. Medical debt. At least, that's how we found ourselves there. I never dreamed we would be in this position. As believers, as pastors, finances are something you guard and protect. Andy and I didn't have credit cards, didn't spend recklessly or lavishly, we drove cars that were paid off....we, up until this point, had succeeded in being pretty fair stewards of our money. You see we, like many others, understand that it's all His anyway.

Let me interject my little sermonette here.

   There are two ways we can feel about our finances. The first........Our salary comes directly from the faithfulness and obedience of you, the church, or you, the church, that tithes anyway. Our salary comes from tithes. So, thank you. Sincerely, thank you. This is simplified of course, but true to a degree. There's no grants or endowments that fund us......no corporation that supports  us. It's the church and the people in it. The obedience of others allows pastors, ministers, missionaries, lay people, Sunday school teachers, volunteers, etc to share the love of Christ and the good news of the Gospel. That's no small thing. It's a miracle, in fact! It's a miracle that God can take coins from a child in Texas and use them to bring salvation to a child in Guatemala or Africa. It's a miracle that God can take my purposed offering and bless Israel and then bless me! That's amazing, there is no formula or accounting principle for how God can multiply and bless the fruit of a generous heart. So with that said......What kind of example would we be, if our lives and spending were out of control? How could we talk about being good stewards if we ourselves were not? How could we talk about tithing if we do not? The church and its leaders should annoy themselves with how above and beyond they go, to have integrity in finances and make wise decisions with their resources. I do not believe they will walk in favor when they don't. We feel the same about our personal finances as well.
   Taking it a step further, having our financial house in order protects our marriage. This is a potentially huge area of strife and tension in any relationship. But, when you bring your finances (like all else), under the authority of Scripture, God blesses, honors and protects it. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Because, I want you to see how seriously we have taken making stewardship a priority, so you can also see how completely devastating it was for us to have this area annihilated.

 
   Here, is the other way we feel about our finances. And, this is the part that I get most excited about! Our salary and resources come from God, and God alone. And while we want to be mindful of our name and reputation, as it concerns  our lives and ministry, it's our standing with God that is the primary force behind all we do. We've almost never had a church member ask about our finances. But the Lord need not ask, He already knows. The Lord knows the things we think we hide from others, He sees our pride and greed, the things we hold so tightly in our closed fist.      
   There is no pretending with God, It is He who made us and He who sanctifies us. It is because of God, that we try to keep our house in order, our hearts in order. It is because we want to be a part of the amazing things that God alone can do. Do you understand that........God lets us do things in cooperation with Him, because it blesses and benefits us? Though He could do infinitely more, infinitely faster on His own, He lets us come along side His will and give our resources and energy, our prayers and gifts, our offering and tithe and He takes what is in our humble hands and uses it, to bless us, bless others and make His glory and presence known.

   God doesn't need your money to operate, but He wants that part of YOUR heart and mind that thinks YOU need it to operate. He wants us to trust Him with meeting our needs, He is our supply and our Provider. But, we hinder Him when we are trying to be the source that He already is.

   So, you can give out of obedience. That's fine. You can give because it seems like something "good people" should do.  Those are both great, but still miss the point. Give because it's exciting! Give because every time you do, it's an act of worship and thanksgiving! Give because it puts you in just the right place to test God and see His consistent faithfulness.  Give because it releases God's power and authority over every need you could ever have. Give because it gives you a testimony that is unbelievable and an honor to share. Give because He protects the things He has dominion over.

So where did that leave us? Why is this part of the story of houses?

   We were in agony, for almost an entire year. We had made every phone call, written every letter possible, made every appeal and could do nothing to help ourselves. We prayed over it every day, several times a day. "Lord, Help us!" I truly had no idea how stressed money could make me. I was a wreck. I worried about it all day, every day. We had gone from good shape to obliterated in a matter of months. And in my head and in my heart, the part that made me the most deeply saddened, the part that broke my heart to think about, was a recurring fear. The fear that consumed me, was that we would never be able to own a house ever again. We would never get out of my sad little rent house, we would never be homeowners. I know it sounds materialistic, and it probably is, but I knew the Lord would meet our needs, I wasn't worried about food or clothes, things we actually needed. But, this wasn't a need, it was a want, having a different home was my want. We didn't need a better house or a bigger house, where we were was plenty good and we had made it nice. I didn't want to be selfish or greedy or pouty. But, in my prayers and in my tears I begged God to let me leave that house. I begged God to somehow "fix" things so I could raise my babies somewhere else. "Save us from ruin, Lord. Save us from all the things this would mean for our future and our children."

   For months, my dad went to the business office at the hospital several times a week. He spoke to every possible person, followed every suggestion. We went as far as you could possibly go with our insurance provider, including a conference call with the president who basically implied that insurance wasn't really designed with preemies in mind. At almost a year, we had come to a place where we either needed to declare bankruptcy or ask  for help. Bankruptcy would protect future income and at some point years later, we could rebuild our credit. Many wise people encouraged us to do just that. We just could not get there. We wanted to pay as much as we could, it was partially a pride issue, and one the Lord was dealing with us about. We didn't want to call in favors or ask our church for help. In an idealistic way, we felt like that would somehow compromise our ability to serve out of a pure heart. It seems silly, but we didn't want there to be any question about our heart. We wanted to be able to give and serve out of heart that was called and thankful, and not because we were paying something back. It made sense at the time! Either way, we had to make a decision. We didn't feel a peace about any of our choices and committed to continue praying about it for the remainder of the week.
  My dad knew and had spoken with every single person who could have helped us. But, that week he was making visits and thought he would stop in one last time. He went to the office, spoke to the same secretary as every time before. She said nothing had changed, they still couldn't offer any assistance...but have you talked to "so and so?" In a year, dad had never heard her name mentioned before but after a few phone calls, was able to speak briefly with this woman. He explained our situation and that we were at a point where we needed to make some decisions and at least wanted to confirm the total amount of debt. When she accessed their network she kept getting different totals, so she said she would get back with him later and give him a final number.
  
   That evening, she called to say that she had thought about it and reread the notes. It seemed our situation was "catastrophic" and no fault of our own. If we could pay one bill in particular, that couldn't be grouped with the others, they would write off the remainder, including some of what was still pending insurance filing.  In one afternoon, in the span of a few hours, we had at a minimum of $516,000 and as much as $800,000 in debt cancelled. My dad went to her office immediately and wrote a check for several thousand dollars out of his own pocket, before he even told us what had happened.

   He and mom called us to come to their house. When we got there, his face was red and wet with tears. He could hardly speak except to tell us "It's done. It's all over. God has answered our prayers." As the story of his encounter unfolded, we wept in amazement and relief.  I wept for days, I just couldn't get over the magnitude of what the Lord had done for us, I found myself overwhelmed a lot. It was a pivotal moment in my walk with the Lord, it changed forever my ability to trust Him, with even the impossible.

That experience prepared us for the next time we would need to release an impossible situation to the Lord. It made us more willing to recognize our helpless state, more able to wait on His promises, more able to give things up and give them up gladly.

And now, friends, we arrive at The House.