Financial Peace

   The next part of our story goes in a bit of a different direction, but is integral to seeing the complete picture of "THE HOUSES." If I was writing a book, this would be the chapter where tithing and giving are the mega-themes and it would be called Financial Peace.

   After Berkley was born and we settled back into our life, the next  devastating season began shortly thereafter.....as the medical bills started rolling in. Berkley was born at 28 weeks, spent months in the NICU, weeks in an isolated critical care room and at 6 months old had acquired a serious amount of debt for such a tiny thing. Not to mention that I had been in ICU for a week, had blood and labs drawn round the clock and sometimes every two hours when I was at my worst. The night Berky was born, I was about 20 minutes away from having a pacemaker put in, so there was a stream of cardiologists and other specialized Dr's coming in and out. Between Berkley and I, we had $516,000 in medical expenses.......after insurance.

   Whatever was supposed to be filed when we started our job in Lubbock wasn't filed or wasn't found. Either way we had minimal medical coverage. During my pregnancy, I thought we were working towards paying a $2000 deductible and we were actually plowing through a $2000 maximum and had no idea. It took several weeks for things to be filed with insurance and there were multiple departments and doctors doing separate bills, so oblivious to the disaster headed towards us, we began making our payments as we received bills. It wasn't until 2 or 3 months later that we started getting the ones for $35,000.....$60,000....$225,000. I remember one afternoon the phone rang and an automated "courtesy" recording was on the other end. I laughed out loud when I heard the recording announce to me in fragmented speech, "Good afternoon....you owe $74,000....dollars.....would you...like to pay.....over the phone?" Ha! Would I like to pay over the phone?! Sure!!! Let me just get my credit card, or better yet, cash!!

   I spent hours a day, for weeks and months, trying to get to the bottom of where things went wrong. And my sweet dad probably doubled that. At the time, he was our church's associate pastor. Even though the errors had occurred long before he was there, as a dad, as the administrator, as a pastor....he was just sick. Physically, sick. Everyone was. I had never known before the absolute consuming burden that accompanies debt and financial stress. But, I knew it now.

   As the spouse who handled our finances, I was hearing in person, every day, how impossible our situation was. It wasn't the hospitals fault. Our insurance company certainly wasn't going to admit fault that cost them hundreds of thousands of dollars. We didn't qualify for financial assistance of any kind from anywhere. There was no solution. Andy and I felt very strongly that we wanted and needed to continue to pay medical bills. Berkley and I had received extraordinary care by an amazing hospital system and they all deserved to be paid, everyone of them. But, we also found out that even though we were paying bills monthly, the hospital as a whole doesn't handle payment plans.....they all go to collections and you work out your financing with them. The only way to not go to collections was to pay balances in full, an impossibility for us. There was no way to avoid destroying our credit. We could spend literally our entire lives paying down these bills and never pay them off. We could spend literally our entire lives paying this debt only to pass the remainder on to our adult children.
   I used to wonder how people found themselves declaring bankruptcy. How do you get yourself in a situation where bankruptcy is even a consideration, much less a necessity? And, now I knew. Medical debt. At least, that's how we found ourselves there. I never dreamed we would be in this position. As believers, as pastors, finances are something you guard and protect. Andy and I didn't have credit cards, didn't spend recklessly or lavishly, we drove cars that were paid off....we, up until this point, had succeeded in being pretty fair stewards of our money. You see we, like many others, understand that it's all His anyway.

Let me interject my little sermonette here.

   There are two ways we can feel about our finances. The first........Our salary comes directly from the faithfulness and obedience of you, the church, or you, the church, that tithes anyway. Our salary comes from tithes. So, thank you. Sincerely, thank you. This is simplified of course, but true to a degree. There's no grants or endowments that fund us......no corporation that supports  us. It's the church and the people in it. The obedience of others allows pastors, ministers, missionaries, lay people, Sunday school teachers, volunteers, etc to share the love of Christ and the good news of the Gospel. That's no small thing. It's a miracle, in fact! It's a miracle that God can take coins from a child in Texas and use them to bring salvation to a child in Guatemala or Africa. It's a miracle that God can take my purposed offering and bless Israel and then bless me! That's amazing, there is no formula or accounting principle for how God can multiply and bless the fruit of a generous heart. So with that said......What kind of example would we be, if our lives and spending were out of control? How could we talk about being good stewards if we ourselves were not? How could we talk about tithing if we do not? The church and its leaders should annoy themselves with how above and beyond they go, to have integrity in finances and make wise decisions with their resources. I do not believe they will walk in favor when they don't. We feel the same about our personal finances as well.
   Taking it a step further, having our financial house in order protects our marriage. This is a potentially huge area of strife and tension in any relationship. But, when you bring your finances (like all else), under the authority of Scripture, God blesses, honors and protects it. Why am I telling you this, you ask? Because, I want you to see how seriously we have taken making stewardship a priority, so you can also see how completely devastating it was for us to have this area annihilated.

 
   Here, is the other way we feel about our finances. And, this is the part that I get most excited about! Our salary and resources come from God, and God alone. And while we want to be mindful of our name and reputation, as it concerns  our lives and ministry, it's our standing with God that is the primary force behind all we do. We've almost never had a church member ask about our finances. But the Lord need not ask, He already knows. The Lord knows the things we think we hide from others, He sees our pride and greed, the things we hold so tightly in our closed fist.      
   There is no pretending with God, It is He who made us and He who sanctifies us. It is because of God, that we try to keep our house in order, our hearts in order. It is because we want to be a part of the amazing things that God alone can do. Do you understand that........God lets us do things in cooperation with Him, because it blesses and benefits us? Though He could do infinitely more, infinitely faster on His own, He lets us come along side His will and give our resources and energy, our prayers and gifts, our offering and tithe and He takes what is in our humble hands and uses it, to bless us, bless others and make His glory and presence known.

   God doesn't need your money to operate, but He wants that part of YOUR heart and mind that thinks YOU need it to operate. He wants us to trust Him with meeting our needs, He is our supply and our Provider. But, we hinder Him when we are trying to be the source that He already is.

   So, you can give out of obedience. That's fine. You can give because it seems like something "good people" should do.  Those are both great, but still miss the point. Give because it's exciting! Give because every time you do, it's an act of worship and thanksgiving! Give because it puts you in just the right place to test God and see His consistent faithfulness.  Give because it releases God's power and authority over every need you could ever have. Give because it gives you a testimony that is unbelievable and an honor to share. Give because He protects the things He has dominion over.

So where did that leave us? Why is this part of the story of houses?

   We were in agony, for almost an entire year. We had made every phone call, written every letter possible, made every appeal and could do nothing to help ourselves. We prayed over it every day, several times a day. "Lord, Help us!" I truly had no idea how stressed money could make me. I was a wreck. I worried about it all day, every day. We had gone from good shape to obliterated in a matter of months. And in my head and in my heart, the part that made me the most deeply saddened, the part that broke my heart to think about, was a recurring fear. The fear that consumed me, was that we would never be able to own a house ever again. We would never get out of my sad little rent house, we would never be homeowners. I know it sounds materialistic, and it probably is, but I knew the Lord would meet our needs, I wasn't worried about food or clothes, things we actually needed. But, this wasn't a need, it was a want, having a different home was my want. We didn't need a better house or a bigger house, where we were was plenty good and we had made it nice. I didn't want to be selfish or greedy or pouty. But, in my prayers and in my tears I begged God to let me leave that house. I begged God to somehow "fix" things so I could raise my babies somewhere else. "Save us from ruin, Lord. Save us from all the things this would mean for our future and our children."

   For months, my dad went to the business office at the hospital several times a week. He spoke to every possible person, followed every suggestion. We went as far as you could possibly go with our insurance provider, including a conference call with the president who basically implied that insurance wasn't really designed with preemies in mind. At almost a year, we had come to a place where we either needed to declare bankruptcy or ask  for help. Bankruptcy would protect future income and at some point years later, we could rebuild our credit. Many wise people encouraged us to do just that. We just could not get there. We wanted to pay as much as we could, it was partially a pride issue, and one the Lord was dealing with us about. We didn't want to call in favors or ask our church for help. In an idealistic way, we felt like that would somehow compromise our ability to serve out of a pure heart. It seems silly, but we didn't want there to be any question about our heart. We wanted to be able to give and serve out of heart that was called and thankful, and not because we were paying something back. It made sense at the time! Either way, we had to make a decision. We didn't feel a peace about any of our choices and committed to continue praying about it for the remainder of the week.
  My dad knew and had spoken with every single person who could have helped us. But, that week he was making visits and thought he would stop in one last time. He went to the office, spoke to the same secretary as every time before. She said nothing had changed, they still couldn't offer any assistance...but have you talked to "so and so?" In a year, dad had never heard her name mentioned before but after a few phone calls, was able to speak briefly with this woman. He explained our situation and that we were at a point where we needed to make some decisions and at least wanted to confirm the total amount of debt. When she accessed their network she kept getting different totals, so she said she would get back with him later and give him a final number.
  
   That evening, she called to say that she had thought about it and reread the notes. It seemed our situation was "catastrophic" and no fault of our own. If we could pay one bill in particular, that couldn't be grouped with the others, they would write off the remainder, including some of what was still pending insurance filing.  In one afternoon, in the span of a few hours, we had at a minimum of $516,000 and as much as $800,000 in debt cancelled. My dad went to her office immediately and wrote a check for several thousand dollars out of his own pocket, before he even told us what had happened.

   He and mom called us to come to their house. When we got there, his face was red and wet with tears. He could hardly speak except to tell us "It's done. It's all over. God has answered our prayers." As the story of his encounter unfolded, we wept in amazement and relief.  I wept for days, I just couldn't get over the magnitude of what the Lord had done for us, I found myself overwhelmed a lot. It was a pivotal moment in my walk with the Lord, it changed forever my ability to trust Him, with even the impossible.

That experience prepared us for the next time we would need to release an impossible situation to the Lord. It made us more willing to recognize our helpless state, more able to wait on His promises, more able to give things up and give them up gladly.

And now, friends, we arrive at The House.