The Prophets Poet

Late Sunday night, after we got in from church, I received my response from Autumn's Professor. His response was very confirming and reassuring. And, it was less about his words and more about the legitimacy he offered, with them. The Professor is highly educated, highly qualified and highly respected. He understood exactly what I was experiencing, how to reconcile it with Scripture and how to interpret it. And, though much of it, I already suspected to be true, it helped me so much for someone else to say it. In a season, where the things I knew to be real and concrete were no longer, and things I couldn't see or touch, I had absolute confidence in.........as much as I needed wisdom, I needed confidence. I needed confirmation from someone credentialed and knowledgeable, and the Professor certainly gave that.
   He was very succinct in what he shared with me, and I will share some of that with you.
1.  THIS IS IMPORTANT, LISTEN, PAY ATTENTION, BE OBEDIENT.

2.  THIS IS MEANT TO COMFORT AND NOT CONDEMN YOURSELF. (Brother Blevins)

For God does speak—now one way, now another—

though man may not perceive it.

15In a dream, in a vision of the night,

when deep sleep falls on men

as they slumber in their beds,

16he may speak in their ears

and terrify them with warnings,

17to turn man from wrongdoing

and keep him from pride,

18to preserve his soul from the pit,^b

 “Pay attention, Job, and listen to me;

be silent, and I will speak.

32If you have anything to say, answer me;

speak up, for I want you to be cleared.

33But if not, then listen to me;

be silent, and I will teach you wisdom.”

The Scripture that The Professor shared spoke to me and I understood exactly what I should take from it.........BE SILENT AND I WILL TEACH YOU WISDOM. Got it, Lord! I ain't got nothing to say now Lord!! I'm getting good at saying nothin', now bring on the wisdom! And, Oh, how He did!

When Autumn and I next spoke, I thanked her for directing me to The Professor, it was invaluable....but still, I felt like I had more to learn. Somehow, Autumn already knew that. She began telling me about a dear family friend of hers, Terese Holloway. Terese had always been in their lives, quiet and encouraging, not someone loose or careless with her words. But, when Terese had a "word" for you, you had better listen. Terese had a knack for timely, active and imperative wisdom. And, soon she would be sharing it with me.

Again, I emailed the whole, long and exhausting story and waited for a response, hoping it would bring continued clarity and direction. Monday, as Mom and I wandered the aisles of Hobby Lobby.....Ding. My response came. I parked myself on one of Hobby Lobby's benches that are purely meant for decoration, and began reading Terese's email. And, there amidst a random and faux cafe scene, complete with a semi-tacky centerpiece, random merchandise and Christmas decor (it's July, you know) the Lord changed my life. I mean really, changed my life.

And all of this from a stranger? Who didn't know anything about me? This stranger, spoke to me like no one ever before. It would be another 3 months before Terese even knew we lived in the same city or that we were in ministry. Yet, she had such amazing insight and wisdom, specific to me. This seems confusing, I know. But, this wasn't like a close friend, offering encouragement about life, a life they are walking out with you. And, it certainly was NOT like some phony psychic who can tell you your favorite color, or how many kids you have. This was so much more and so much better. This was someone, listening to me share my heart, and then taking time to pray and meditate on it, wait for the Lord to share His heart................ wait on the Lord to show her how He sees me and what He is trying to show me............... and then, sharing just that, and nothing more. Terese was able to share such timely wisdom with me, not because she knew anything about me, but because she walks so closely with the Lord.

What did she tell me? She told me the truths of God's Word, the Promises He has for me. She told me that, God has a plan for me, that He is calling to me from the deep, to share wisdom, to show me the things I have begged for. Terese told me, that this season had been ordained and prepared for me by God and that He is leading me through it..........that Christ and Christ alone, is worthy of my faith and trust, worthy of my surrender........and that following Him is always worth it, trusting Him more is always worth it. Terese told me that Christ is not only my shield and defense, when under attack, but my weapons, my banner and my courage when He calls me to War. And, Terese reminded me that the victory has already been won.........

You see now, how wise she is.

Terese told me a great deal more, and perhaps those words will find their way on the pages of my book. But, for now they are my treasure. And it is treasure. I shared earlier about what a gift it is to share with someone the words they are needing to hear, to give your words and heart freely to encourage, challenge and speak favor over another. It is an exponentially greater gift, when those words are anointed and appointed by the Holy Spirit.

And, this was Terese's gift to me. Autumn's as well. They are good gift givers.

Just 2 days later, Mom and I would make the drive back to Lubbock, from Dallas.......to the Wilderness, as it were. We would drive the same road we had traveled earlier in the week, but this time it would be different. We couldn't help but weep as we drove past the tracks, the site that was once our Wreckage, now the site of our Deliverance. Isn't it funny how the same ground that is scattered with brokenness, scattered with the debris of what must have been a painful collision, a catastrophe........can be the same ground that God redeems for healing, for protection and for Promise? The same ground where He births a new season, a new hope?

I am reminded of the story of Lazarus. I love the story of Lazarus, we all should, it is our story as well. I could do  a whole sermonette on Lazarus, and perhaps I will.

Most of us know this story by heart, but sometimes it is in the stories we know so well, the ones we know from rote memory.....that we miss the real beauty, the apples of gold in every word and every phrase.

Lazarus, brother of Mary and Martha, friend of Jesus, is sick. And, though the sisters have already sent word to Jesus, Jesus delays and Lazarus dies. On the way to Bethany, Jesus encounters Martha. I am including the scripture from John 11 and my notes in blue.

Jesus Comforts the Sisters  Already, I am moved! I love that the title of this is "Jesus Comforts the Sisters" It is important to the story on its own. It is not just lumped in under "Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead." It gets its' own title, its'  own special place of significance. It shows that Jesus is our friend, a friend who comforts. A doctor who has never met you, and will certainly not be your friend tomorrow....... can bring healing and relief. But a FRIEND, comforts. A FRIEND, cares about your hurts and wounds. And sometimes, in our lives we need His comfort as much as we need His power. Praise God, that You are our Comforter.

17On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. 18Bethany was less than two miles^a from Jerusalem, 19and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. 20When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home.     It is important that Mary stayed at home. Mary, who neglected her duties as host to sit at her teachers feet, stayed home rather than go out to meet Him. Does that sound familiar to anyone else? What kept her home? Disappointment. I can't count the number of times last year, when I felt like I could no longer propel myself up and out to meet the Lord. Paralyzed by hurt, fear, sadness, hopelessness and yes....disappointment.       I see you, girl.     I know you, Mary.     I know how much more is meant by "Mary stayed at home." Sara stayed at home too, some. Didn't you friend?

 21“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” She starts with blame...."if you had, then......" I do this too, you do this too. "God I don't know why you did this, but you did and I know you can fix it, so guess you better fix it, right?"

23Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”

24Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”   Most of us are Martha, at least in our Wreckage and Wilderness, we are Martha. Martha is saying what we all say. "Well, I guess it wasn't God's will to intervene or fix this. And, I know I won't ever understand, but I trust that God is good and when I get to heaven, it will be better.....I guess. So I guess, I will just hurt and be miserable for ever, but I love Jesus and believe He is who He says He is."

25Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

27“Yes, Lord,” she told him, “I believe that you are the Christ,^b the Son of God, who was to come into the world.” 

28And after she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” 29When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. Jesus called unto Mary. What a precious thing. Even in my darkness, even in my disappointment.......what I longed for most, was to know that Jesus knew how bad I was hurting, that He hadn't forgotten me. Countless days I have sat, YOU HAVE SAT, desperate for Jesus to come to us, ask for us.....calling us out of our tomb, so He may address our wounds. And, like Mary, how quickly we would go to meet Him.

     30Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him.   Now, Jesus knew the situation, was on His way there, but stopped short of their house. Why was this? Jesus waited on the road where he spoke with Martha, waited for Martha to walk back to the house, waited for her to get Mary, waited for Mary............. to COME MEET HIM. Isn't that just like Jesus? He knows whats best for us, best for our growth and as painful as it is sometimes, what's best may mean humbling ourselves, getting over our hurt just enough to get up and go out to meet Him........where He is at. Isn't that really the more desired place anyway....where He is at? So.....get up. Go OUT to meet Him.

31When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.    This is just FYI- there are always people around you, watching you grieve, watching your pain unfold........and they are waiting also, to see what you will do.......and perhaps even some of them will follow you, as Mary's friends did. Isn't it a precious thing, that even in her loss, her grief and suffering.....she led them to Jesus.

32When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

33When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.   Now, everyone always uses this to show how Jesus wept for Lazarus and how sad he was that his friend died. But, you read this again carefully.

   Jesus knew Lazarus was dead, the moment he decided to delay 2 days in Jerusalem. Jesus also knew that He was always going to raise Lazarus from the dead. He is not being overwhelmed with grief right here, He is weeping for Mary. Do you see that? Read it again. "When Jesus saw HER WEEPING." Jesus is filled with compassion and empathy for Mary, and not because she is sad over the loss of her brother, though that is indeed why she is sad, at least in part. Causing far more pain than the actual loss, the actual death......is the absolute devastation we feel, when we feel like our hope in Christ, has been somehow misplaced. The devastation is more due to the upheaval we feel, when we trust in the Lord, and He doesn't do what we know He is capable of doing......and it causes us pain. When God's will causes us pain.......that is why Mary weeps, that is why Mary stayed home. 

   Both sisters, the first words they utter to Jesus are, "Lord, if you had been here...." Jesus' heart breaks for us when we feel needlessly separated from Him. His heart breaks for us when we are exactly where we are supposed to be, when we are trusting Him through death, loss, grief and pain, trusting Him through the Wilderness and Wreckage, and in our pain we falsely believe, He is not with us. And, that is real suffering.          Because, He has walked the earth and faced separation from His Father, in life and in death.......He weeps because He knows that anguish, He knows that despair. He knows firsthand what kind of tears accompany, begging God for another way, a way out and still knowing what God's will is, and being yielded to it. That's a whole different kind of tears, a different kind of grief.  It's OK to cry, in fact, He will cry right along with you. And He does. And, He did with Mary, too.

34“Where have you laid him?” he asked.  This is my favorite part. Again, Jesus is Jesus....and He knows exactly where Lazarus is. He is less asking the location of Lazarus, and more like a sympathetic parent or nurse, saying "Show Me where it hurts. Show me where you gave up, where you believed you were past my reach, show me where you laid down, believing it was over and I had left you.......take me to that place. "  Take your Lord to that place.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

35Jesus wept.  What a tender place to show our Lord. What a tender place to admit to Jesus and then show Him, where we gave up, where we gave up on His mercy, on His love. He knows how bad it must hurt, and He weeps for us.

Jesus Raises Lazarus From the Dead

38Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39“Take away the stone,” he said.   But, He isn't demanding to see it to correct or rebuke us, to show us the error of our ways or make us feel more ashamed for our unbelief. He wants us to show Him the grave, because He's come to do a miracle.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”   And, again like Martha, we wish it weren't so ugly, so stinking awful. We wish we could make our helpless state, somehow more lovely or appropriate. Oh, Martha, Martha! He is not there to judge your mess, your brokenness.......He is there to redeem it. Praise God! And, He doesn't care how bad it stinks, cause it's about to be GLORIOUS!

40Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?”   I can hear Jesus saying this to me, " Did I not tell you, SARA, that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" Yes, Lord! I remember now, You did say that, and I had been so consumed with death I had forgotten, but I remember now Lord! I remember now, Lord! And, I believe you again, I trust you again! Here it is Lord, the grave, the tomb, the brokenness, the hurt, the doubt.....Oh, Jesus, let me show you where it is, let me take you to it! Do a miracle with it, God!

41So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” And here, is the point of all of it. " I have said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe you sent me." Astounding. Completely astounding, are the depths of God's love, that He would do all of this purely for our benefit, that we see Him more clearly, walk with Him more closely.

43When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.

Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”   PRAISE GOD! PRAISE GOD! Praise God, that He loves us enough to Comfort us, praise God that He loves us enough to be our friend and weep with us, but PRAISE GOD, that, that is not enough! He could just leave us comforted, or sympathized with, but His purpose in coming to us, was to RAISE FROM THE DEAD!!!!!!!  

Friends, do you see it! Do you see how beautiful this story is???? We play all the other roles and Jesus is Himself! We are Martha, who frets and worries over how things look and whether we are good enough......we believe and we trust, and we pray, but we still miss the big picture. We are Mary, who had perhaps a measure more of faith or devotion, but is now devastated by doubt, by disappointment and despair........who is willing to run to her Lord and fall at His feet, but doesn't want to show Him, how deeply she hurts. 

And, because Jesus is still Jesus, we are Lazarus. We are Lazarus, who though dead and buried, heard the voice of our Savior, beckon us "COME OUT!"

Do you see it in my story? I was the man who would surely die, without Jesus. I was the grieving woman who stayed home, rather than go to meet her Lord. But, He came to me-almost all the way- and called me by name. He called me to meet Him on the side of the road, in a field of dust, in my Wreckage- in a state so helpless and dependent on Him, I would die without Him. The Lord and I met, that day. And He comforted me, He wept with me. He asked me to show Him where I had given up, in the dirt......He asked me to show Him where and why I had laid my faith down. And, I did. 

And He called out to me, SARA, COME OUT!!!!!!! TAKE OFF YOUR GARMENTS OF MOURNING AND GO!! And, praise God, I did. I need to stand up for a bit, and wave my arms around or shout or something!!!!

Do you see it in your story? Do you see how your place of mourning and grief is the same place as your mercy and miracle? The tomb that housed the dead is the same tomb, that the dead walked out of? Those gathered in mourning around Lazarus, were the first to get to rejoice in his resurrection?

WAKE UP, O SLEEPER. RISE FROM THE DEAD! CHRIST'S LIGHT WILL SHINE ON YOU!