Praise Report for Emily Grace

This was shared by Brent and Loree last night. Praise God for this encouragement!! Continue to pray for this miracle, that we are beginning to see unfold!!!!

Psalm 146:1 "Praise the LORD.  Praise the LORD, O my soul."

 

 

Thank you, prayer warriors, for lifting our Emily Grace up to the LORD.  Here is an update from today's 28 week sonogram.

 

Praise the LORD slight movement was seen in her arms and fingers (not seen previously).

Praise the LORD she was in a new position today indicating body movement.  Previous sonograms all showed the exact same position.

Praise the LORD the doctor was able to identify fingers and toes (she has club hands & feet) and could even count her ten fingers.

Praise the LORD fluid level in the womb is well within normal limits.  The doctor no longer expects a premature delivery.

Praise the LORD her lungs appear to be developing normally suggesting increased likelihood of survival at birth.

 

Please continue to pray for Emily's joints to function and for her muscles to develop.  We will continue to keep you posted.

 

Love,

Brent and Loree

Prayers for Emily Grace

    Dear Friends, Some of you already know and having been praying with us for Andy's sister, Loree. Several weeks ago, Loree's unborn baby was diagnosed at 18 weeks with a severe birth defect. Loree is an amazing and strong woman of God and she and her husband Brent, are an extraordinary testimony to God's provision and mercy through this most difficult time. Here is the email they shared, asking for continued prayer in these specific areas. Please continue to lift Loree, Brent, their children Christopher, Matthew, Rachel and soon to be Emily Grace up in prayer. 

Dear Friends and Family:

 

We want all of you to know that we are expecting a new baby girl this summer!  She is 25 weeks along now.

 

 

Her name is Emily Grace.

 

2 Corinthians 2:9 says:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”   Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

We have been clinging to this verse since our 18 week sonogram showed our baby girl has a severe birth defect.  She has a condition called arthrogryposis.  It is a rare problem with joint and muscle development that limits function of arms, legs, hands, feet, and possibly spine and jaw.  It is sometimes fatal in infancy but therapy starting immediately after birth will improve her ability to function.  Severity and success of treatment varies greatly in those with this condition.  Three sonogram reports show that Emily's case may be severe.  Brain function is usually normal.

Here is how you can pray:

• Praise God the Creator of heaven and earth (Psalm 148); all good and perfect gifts are from the Father (James 1:17)
• Praise God for His amazing love, mercy and grace that allowed His Son to die so that we might have eternal life (John 3:16)
• Praise God for His Word that lights our dark path (Psalm 119:105)
• Praise God for so many of you who have already wrapped your loving arms and prayers around us
• Praise God that Emily's spine appears normal, she is currently on track for gestational growth, the fluid level in the womb is measuring normal suggesting a possibility of appropriate swallowing, all organs appear to be normal, she is showing some movement at the shoulders and hips (Psalm 139)
• Praise God that there is a highly respected orthopedic pediatrician within minutes of our home
• Please pray for the Lord to completely heal Emily's joints and muscles
• Please pray that Emily would feel loved and that the Lord would use her life for His glory (Romans 8:28-30)
• Please pray that our family would continue to know the Joy of the Lord
• Please pray for the Holy Spirit to cause us to move beyond our grief and put our complete hope and trust in Him (Psalm 30)
• Please pray for the return of our Lord Jesus (Revelation 22:20) when there will be no more mourning (Revelation 21:1-4; Isaiah 65:20-24)

Thank you so much for your prayers.  Prayer is the best thing you can do for us (Philippians 4:4-7).  We will keep you posted (expecting delivery around late July/early August).  We know that all good things are from the Lord so as the blessings flow we will give all praise to Him.  Please feel free to pass this e-mail along to anyone you know who is willing to pray for our family.  We love you all.

In Christ,

Brent and Loree

(with Christopher, Rachel, Matthew, and Emily)

Todays Quiet Time II

    Teaching on Judas Sunday, made me realize two things really clearly. One, Judas' sin cost Christ His life. So did mine. Judas is the most hated man in Christianity because he succumbed to the sins that we are all capable of. He may have had a direct hand in shedding Christ blood, but even if he hadn't, it still would have been required just to cover my sin. I know, right? It's a little early to choke that down. Second, Christ loved Judas no more or less than He loves me or you. Christ extends the same gentle mercy to me, as He extended to the man who betrayed Him for a fistful of coins.
    Embarrassingly, this week has required no where near the self-control and obedience Christ showed. And yet, I struggled with it as though it did. I was just dealing with the normal "Should I? Shouldn't I's?" There's no Judas in my story, I have been wrestling myself for three days. Weird mental image, I know. This week, I have really been  struggling to rest in the promises of God. I have been faithfully praying over a few areas and each time He faithfully answers. I get so excited that I've heard from the Lord and it lifts my spirits and gives me such rest......for 15 minutes. And then, I find myself wringing my hands all over again, all worked up over what I should or shouldn't do. When I know good and well, I SHOULDN'T BE DOING ANYTHING. I should be waiting and watching for Him to do the doing. Make sense?
   Ever been in situation where doing the "right" thing is directly disobedient to what God has called you to do? Even though it makes sense and it oozes character, it's not what the Lord wants from me right now. Man, I have tossed and turned over this one. I knew at 10 PM I was never going to sleep. I tried to just lay there still, hoping the Holy Spirit would just save me the time and speak audibly. But, alas nay. I got up about 4 AM, as lunatics often do, and crept into the kitchen to dig it out for myself. 
    And, big reveal.........here was one of my quiet times.
 "Come to me with your plans held in abeyance. Worship me in spirit and in truth, allowing My Glory to permeate your entire being. Trust me enough to let me guide you through this day, accomplishing My purposes in My timing. Subordinate your myriad plans to My Master Plan. I AM sovereign over every aspect of your life!
   The challenge continually before you is to trust Me and search for My way through each day. Do not blindly follow your habitual route, or you will miss what I have prepared for you. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts your thoughts."


Isaiah 55:8-9   For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As far as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways. And my thoughts higher than your thoughts. 


Yes, Lord. Even I understand that. 


Another, favorite devotional led me to this passage today. 
Deuteronomy 4:2-4 Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the Lord your God, that I give you. You saw with your own eyes what the Lord did at Baal of Peor. The Lord your God destroyed from among you everyone who followed Baal of Peor, but all of you who held fast to the Lord your God are still alive today.


   Before I explain the text,  I read this immediately after Isaiah. It's sub heading is "Obedience Commanded." Thank You Lord, for not giving me a single minute to question Your ways, before commanding my obedience. He is making it as remedial as possible for me, friends.
   Just prior to this God has told Moses that he will be forbidden to cross the Jordan into the promised land. Moses' offense was disobedience. During the wandering in the desert, the Israelites daily struggled with adhering to God's law and not being influenced by the pagan religions surrounding them. Baal Peor is a reference to Numbers where the Israelites have disobeyed Moses and God's law and began worshipping an idol. 24,000 were killed because of it and only those who remained faithfully to the law were spared. 


  To wrap this up neatly....You have Judas, whose idolatry was his own selfish ambition and desire. It kept him from Christ and heaven. Christ models immeasurable obedience and self-control by continuing to love Judas through even betrayal. As I battled my inability to trust God's leading, my inability to obey and use self-control; what I was battling was my own selfish desires. Even though, the actions I would prefer may be "right" they would have disobeyed what I knew God was calling me to do. Wait, trust, obey. His ways are higher than my ways, I don't understand what He is working out our how He is doing it. But, He reminds me again to obey. Not just reminds but commands my obedience as He did from the Israelites. His reward for those who did, they were spared and able to grow deeper in God. "All of you who held fast to the Lord your God are alive today."
So here is your verse for today:
Deuteronomy 12:32
See that you do all I command you; do not add to it or take away from it.


Done.

Todays Quiet Time I

    The last few days I have really been struggling with obedience and self-control. Praise God that the Spirit sanctifies  every area of our flesh, working out each impurity and dark spot! It's been an interesting thread through my study time this week (and it's barely Wednesday!) Beginning with Sunday, I got to teach the last chapter for our home group from John MacArthur's Twelve Ordinary Men. Predictably, the last chapter is Judas, the wretch of a human or maybe just human. As I look back over my notes even now, I am overwhelmed at God's timing and mercy. How kind is our heavenly Father! How kind, that unbeknownst to me, he would prepare me for this week with the ultimate story of self-control and obedience. Lord, let it pour into my soul even now.
    With that said, I'll begin with my notes on Judas from Sunday and finish with this morning's quiet time. 
    Right out of the gate, MacArthur starts this chapter with "He is the most colossal failure in all human history." This statement gave me pause, Really? All of human history?  I'm glad to know it's him and not me, because last week I felt sure it was me. This is sarcasm. I don't know an emoticon for that. Was his sin so terrible on it's own or was it so terrible because it's victim was the innocent Christ?
    Judas stands as a warning about the evil potential of spiritual carelessness, squandered opportunity, sinful lusts, and hardness of the heart. If you are like me, you are more concerned with how he became such a colossal failure so as to avoid this path myself. In a nutshell, here it is:
1. He didn't have authentic relationships with other believers. Anyone can have  relationships and maybe even with other Christians. But if they are the kind where your dressed up, cleaned up, church self shares polite salutations with someone else's dressed up, cleaned up, church self......it is meaningless. There is a reason God's word encourages us to engage with the body of believers. IT'S BECAUSE IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!!!! It may be exhausting and painful at times, but ultimately it's for your good. It edifies and encourages you, it divides your burdens, it gives opportunity for accountability and loving rebuke. Iron sharpens iron and it does it by being authentic and transparent about who you are in Christ. It's capable of acknowledging jerkness and repenting, forgiving and moving on, helping others not to stumble wither by their own weakness or yours. Judas, was with the group of twelve, but not in the group of twelve. He was from a different town, different family and didn't have a prior relationship with any of the other disciples. Now, we've all be there and that wasn't the problem so much as it was that he never moved beyond being a stranger. Many times in scripture the disciples are listed in pairs, either by relationship (James and John), occupation, or proximity to Jesus. John the beloved goes with Jesus, the others have their buddy and then there's Judas. His anonymity, in plain sight, allowed lies and resentment to go unchecked in his cold, dark heart. Sound familiar?
2. He was so blinded by resentment and disappointment about his circumstance that he missed seeing Christ for who He was. Judas, like many Jews, wanted the Messiah to return in glory, to right the wrongs done to Jews, rebuild the temple and set up His kingdom. Again, this was not the main problem. Even other disciples had similar hopes, but at some point they realized this wasn't the Messiah they got, but they built a bridge......and got over it. They realized he was so much more, that it wasn't about an earthly kingdom but a place prepared for them with the Father......for eternity. Not Judas, he couldn't get over the selfishness and pride that he was hoping to indulge when he got his dues, when he got his power and privilege that would surely come with being a faithful follower of the Messiah. But, the dues never came, the power never came.  Following the Messiah was about serving humbly, dying to your own desires, taking up your own cross and walking away from everything the world had to offer. He was never really drawn to the person of Christ, He was the means to an end. And there, the resentment began. Resentment that would cost him valuable time with His Savior and eternity with His Father. He was so blinded about what he wasn't getting right this minute, that he missed the "riches" he could have actually held onto. The riches you don't hold in your hands. Anyone?
3. He used his false servitude and false obedience to excuse himself from  self-examination and more importantly, the conviction of the Holy Spirit. He never had an ounce of true love for Christ. His heart had never been changed, and therefore the light of truth only hardened him. Remember, Judas was there for every miracle, every sermon and every prayer. He was an eyewitness to the saving knowledge of Christ and yet never let it wash over him. Judas listened to every parable, every teaching unmoved and never applied the lessons. He was a master of deceit. Can you imagine being with Jesus and seeing someone healed or even Lazarus raised from the dead? And while you feign rejoicing or praise, your heart whispers "I hate Him. I hate who He is and who I'm not." "I deserve more, I deserve better." Oh friends, see yourself for who and what all of us are. Filthy rags. None deserving anything. Our hypocrisy hides nothing from the Holy Spirit, haven't you heard.....He's taken up residence, in you. He sees every blemish we try to cover, hears every angry word our heart speaks. And yet, He loves us. He died for us, knowing all of this. Knowing we are all capable of the sins of Judas. I am. Are you?
    And finally, most importantly.......
4. He didn't have an authentic relationship with Christ. When Jesus revealed that one of them would betray Him, no one suspected Judas. Judas had so mastered his deceit and hypocrisy that it didn't even occur to them that he could betray Christ. But, it occurred to Christ alright. For three years, Christ knew every word out of Judas' lying lips was bathed in hatred. He knew every offer of help or friendship, every prayer or "Amen" was given to conceal his true heart. As I think about it now, is it possible that none suspected Judas, not because of his skillful deceit, but because Christ consistently showed him such genuine love and kindness? Hmmmmm. What if none suspected Judas because Christ never treated him any differently or loved him any less? Hello, obedience and self-control, welcome to our story!
    Now really y'all, we all know we have avoided entire cities on the map because so and so may still live there and we may still be mad at them. But my word, as though the life and ministry of Christ weren't difficult enough! To have to endure it with a person who you know loathes and hates everything about you right at your side? And, not only that, you wash their feet! You calm their storms, you are their provision, you pour yourself into them, knowing they are set on a fixed course that will end in your death. And you love them anyway. Jesus kept hinting to the disciples about a "devil" among them and His impending death and betrayal, not to be mysterious or coy but, because He TRULY loved Judas and was trying to give him as many chances for redemption as He could. Oh Lord! That you show each of us that love!
    Surely, I can love my "neighbor" who mildly annoys me! So, that was the seed planted Sunday. I promise it will make sense after coffee and the next post.

Emerson's Birthday Feast

                                                         The Feast of Biblical Proportions

MAKE READY!!!!!!!!!!

         David, Goliath and the Israelites

Goliath is "Slaved" once and for all!!!

The Sling Range                                                                                                    David and Jonathan

 

Candids of the Shepherds Hijinx

    We had a great time at the birthday party! We only did permanent damage to one Israelite when Goliath came on the scene. Now, I thought the madras shorts would make him less threatening, but apparently not. Emerson, filled with the Spirit of the Lord (and sugar), defeated him forthwith. And Goliath died an awful death, awful and standing death. The poor giants shin guards wouldn't let his knees bend enough to fall down, so he kept yelling and swaying at the hips like jello mold that won't give up. In the end, he was defeated soundly and allowed to keep his head, much to my delight.  

    It was a great time with friends, who were all good sports even throughout the tunic-ing, sling-ing and laugh-ing. Maybe Daniel next year????

Best Party Ideas Ever

This site has the most amazing party ideas for grown ups and kiddos. It makes me want to cancel my party and  apologize for trying to have one with such inadequate hostess skills. Seriously. www.hostessblog.com

My banner over him is love......

Sweet Toad's Birthday

    And, so it is. 4 years ago we were blessed with one of our life's most precious gifts, Sweet Toad. The only thing I wanted more in my life than to marry Andy Johnson was to have kids with him. I knew with every fiber of my being that God had called me to be a wife and mother and, before Emerson, I feared I never would.

    I had been told when I was younger that having children would be difficult maybe even impossible for me. And, I have to admit, I let the enemy get a stronghold there. I never questioned it but I just accepted it for my life and only once laid it at my Father's feet. I felt like I was being mature, no need to be upset over things you can't change, I just tried to prepare myself and Andy that we would have "trouble" here. 

   The only time I took it to the Father was the month before I found out I was pregnant. I'm not sure why, because we weren't even trying, but I found myself overwhelmed with sadness over this. I had known this would be the case since I was a teenager and had never really taken this to the Lord before. But one day after school, I remember coming home and just weeping sad and bitter tears. I wept because I knew that for me to be a mother would require a long, exhausting and probably fruitless process.  I wept, because I understood that and I knew Andy may not. I wept because I felt disappointed and sad. I wept as I laid it as His feet, this most secret and deep desire of my heart. I finally just gave it away. 
    I remember Andy coming home that day and finding me sobbing. He asked what was wrong and I told him I wasn't pregnant and would never be. Poor Andy, he was so puzzled. "Are we trying????" "No!" I sobbed. Poor guy, we were thousands of miles from home, all he could do was give me a hug and take me to PF Changs to feel better.
   Little did I know, that in a few weeks we would find out we were expecting Emerson. And, that in a few short months we would have to fight so hard to keep him. It's funny what the Lord brings to mind.

Bible Birthdays-Not just for homeschoolers

   I think we have the menu nailed down, sort of. I think we've opted for Chick Fil A, lamb is just too pricey. And now, on to costuming. That's right, costumes. I am making tunics for David and his brothers. And not the cool kind that cover problem areas and have Greek key trim. Rectangles with a whole in 'em, for the kneck, those are the kind of tunics I'm making. And one for Goliath, of course. Also, making banners for the yard.....how hard can that be right?
   Why do all this? Simple. For this one precious season of Emerson's life, he is consumed with David and Goliath. He may never be as excited about God's Word as he is right now. I hope that's not the case, but it may be. He lives it and breathes it. He knows almost all of 1 Samuel 17 by heart and doesn't even realize it.  He knows that David was too young and too small, that with God all things are possible. He even knows that Goliath gets his head cut off, thanks to my "parent of the year" oversight in choosing the wrong D&G video from Hastings.
   I love God's Word. I love that every layer you peel back reveals more about the awesome God we serve and more about our daily inadequacy without Him. Thanks to good Bible Studies and great teachers, I get excited about learning something new. I desperately want Emerson to feel that way too.
   So if that means, random party menus, awful tunics and homemade slings help God's Word come alive for the babies and sparks a fire that stays. Then, here we come..............IN THE NAME OF THE GOD OF ISRAEL WHO RULES OVER ALL.

Birthday Mutton Honey

Invitations....check. Fabric for banners on the battlefield....check. Leather for slings.......check. Appropriate menu for birthday feast..........uh.........well......no idea. Mom was asking me what we were having, and if you know Mimi, you know she could come up with an 8 course menu in her head, have most everything already in her pantry and be growing the flowers she wants to use for centerpieces. Me on the other hand, has been known to sneak out at 5 in the morning to get milk, so I could pretend I remembered it the night before.
    I told her we were having a traditional Jewish feast, with the sacramental elements present, unleavened bread, mutton dripping in olive oil. For at least 3 seconds, I think she thought I was serious. It wasn't until I mentioned the wine I had fermenting in the washing machine that it became clear. 
    I'm at a loss, I can always go with hot dogs. Done. But with everything else being so themey, weenies seem lame. Never thought I would have that sentence in my blog. So I was thinking, what would they eat in the Bible? Well, depending on who in the Bible you are, you'd be eating locusts with sticks in your hair, the heart of a bear, spotless lamb (don't even have one), first born calf (could be burgers?) Eww.
    So any suggestions? Had considered chicken and fruit cabobs. Andy likes the idea of roasting hot dogs outside, but since we are in living in the 6th Plague of Drought and Barren land, that seems unlikely. Grrrrrr.

Birthday Week Begins!!!!

   And, so it begins......Emerson's Birthday Week!!! And we are sooooo excited! Surpassing last years "Garbage Truck/Trash Man" birthday party is this years.......(drumroll) DAVID and GOLIATH birthday party! I know, I know random, not to mention hard to find matching napkins and invitations. But, this is what Emerson is passionate about, so here goes.
   Not that anyone asked, but here is our philosophy on birthdays. First, our kids get three presents at Christmas, that's a whole nother post. Christmas is about Christ's gift to us, not ours to them. So they get three, which is why I don't have any problem at all making birthdays super special and a whole week long! Next, our kids will get big, go somewhere, bring friends birthdays on the 5's (5th, 10th, etc) we'll adjust if we need to. The point is. these first several birthdays don't need to include trips to Vegas for their 20 closest friends from preschool. I have been to amazing 2nd birthday parties, where the partiers were too tired, overwhelmed and blithering. Keep it small, keep it simple. 
   For 1-3 years it's usually just parents, grandparents, maybe one other couple and kids. I make dinner and cake, we do presents, rah, rah, yeah. A good rule of thumb is 2 kids over the age of your child, Emerson is turning 4, we will invite 6. Trust me, it works. Here is why: have realistic expectations of toddlers. It's their birthday, they have probably gotten less sleep, more sugar, less routine over the few days prior. There is company and other kids, more noise and less attention because mom is being a good hostess. And the game changer....presents! At ages 2 & 3, we are working on sharing, everyday in fact, but it's not even close to being mastered. You will be disappointed if you put your munchkin in this setting, sprinkle all the hoopla and throw in shiny, new amazing presents and then say, "Now Share, please." Probably not, for them or their friends. This doesn't mean don't try or have a party, just be realistic. I should also say, I have been to some very fun toddlers birthdays. Most of which were in their own home, very comfortable and familiar, kids and adults they knew and were comfortable with, and pretty low key and relaxed.
   Again, this is just what we do, it is by no means the best or only way. Another reason we do birthday week is that even with young toddlers I am trying to be conscientious of raising ministry kids. Our lifestyle is just different, not better or worse, just different. Since Andy and I began dating, we have almost never been able to do birthdays, anniversaries even Christmas on it's assigned day. The demands of church don't stop when our birthday falls on a Wednesday or church activity. This is a matter of perspective, we don't resent it or get upset about it, we just get really creative with calendaring and scheduling around it. We, however chose this as our life and our families life, the babies did not.  More about this on my ministry blog. I am already looking ahead to Berkley's older birthdays which will fall right before Thanksgiving and our Christmas music programs. If we are doing a whole week of fun, unique and special activities then when we have to have our birthday celebrations a day or two before or after, my hope is that it won't be totally heartbreaking. It's not about being indulgent for an entire week just because we can. It's about trying to show the kids that our lives can be flexible and fun, we can still do church and serve, and they are not in anyway less important or less deserving of all our attention and love. So, let Birthday Week begin!  More to come........
                              

Easter at Home 2

As I thought about what my follow up posting would be for this Easter weekend, I found myself at a loss. Everything I imagined about celebrating Christ's resurrection in heaven seemed too simplistic and silly. Not to mention theologically questionable!

So I went to the Father and simply asked.

And the impression I was left with was both underwhelming and overwhelming. As I prayed about what the significance of this holiday should be for me this year, I found myself going back to a still small voice, you know the one. The voice spoke to my heart, "We're very busy." Huh? Of course you're busy, rejoicing, singing, celebrating.........no? I didn't understand. So I waited and listened.

They are busy in heaven alright, but I got the distinct impression that their Easter celebration was more of a pause than a festival. I believe the Lord wanted me to think on this. There is a season for everything under heaven, including celebration. And while the remembrance and celebration of Christ's resurrection is worthy of rejoicing and praise from all of us. In heaven-they're getting back to business.

God Almighty, Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, heavenly hosts, angels, the cloud of witnesses....whatever names you want to use or however you want to describe those around the throne, "they" are busy! Time does not age them and age does not time them. Heaven does not bend itself to our clock, so who knows how long they celebrate Easter, maybe a moment or maybe years. If their Easter was like ours- months of preparation, working notes, working songs, pulling it together for 3 services, amazing worship, great music, sore throats, come home tired. Andy and I collapsed on the couch, took a breath and gave each other a knowing look. 8 months until Christmas.......and it's back to work. And so it is, on earth and in heaven.  There was a time for their Holy Feast and there was a time for it to end,  a time to celebrate, dance and praise the Risen Lord..........and a time to return to their labor. What are "they" working on?

Oh, friends! Heaven is buzzing with activity! They are not resting on the laurels of Christ's victory on the cross, oh no. They are intently watching, planning and making preparations. Haven't you heard? Christ is coming again. Yes, CHRIST IS COMING AGAIN! And this time it's to RULE and REIGN....... ON EARTH!!!! The celebration ended and all of heaven returned to their posts. Some went back to watching the battles that continue on earth, battles of flesh, battles with darkness. Did they go back to standing guard or shielding His children from fiery darts? Maybe some went back to carefully and consistently watering the seeds the Father has planted, caring for a lost child's journey and walk, tending it as a faithful gardener would. A gardener who has lots of time and lots of patience, patience to care for each seed, to bury it deep and watch it grow, waiting for it to bear fruit. Their work is never done, for seeds were scattered just today!

All of heaven labors again, with expectancy and certainty.
Christ IS coming.

Easter at Home

   Several years ago, I did the "Jesus the One and Only" study and it coincided with Easter. I never felt the same about Good Friday. But, after a friends funeral yesterday I found myself contemplating things I had not yet. When someone passes away, I always try to remember their family on the firsts. First birthdays, first holidays, all the firsts without their loved one. As I was praying over those tender days well in advance, it occurred to me that this will be a year of firsts for Rheagan as well.

   

   This weekend will be Rheagan's first Easter with Jesus. Never before in her life has she SEEN her Risen Lord on the day we celebrate His resurrection. Never before has she seen how HE would choose to be worshipped and celebrated. What must an Easter celebration planned by heavenly hosts be like? No distractions or Saturdays spent frantically gathering meaningless candy or plastic grass. No easter dresses bought on sale, no sandals that rub 'cause you've never worn them, no half eaten chocolate bunnies in foil. What it must be like to celebrate your first Easter with Jesus.... clothed in splendor, in garments of praise! Garments of PRAISE people! To feast at the banquet prepared by His Father? And it makes me wonder.....

  

   Now, I know praise never ceases in heaven, but just as we remember our 2nd birthday or the day we "got saved" or baptized.....don't you know that God Almighty remembers His Sons resurrection with immeasurably more rejoicing. I think back on days of loss or suffering in my own life when the anniversary comes year after  year and even though I've seen restoration or healing, I let my heart ache just a little bit so I don't forget what Christ has done for me. As a momma, I believe my Heavenly Father's heart still stings when he remembers His precious Son, Jesus, and how He had to LEAVE HIM ON THE CROSS that day.....that Good Friday. If you've ever had your baby hurt, you know as much as it is unbearable to see you just can't take your eyes off them. When my babies have been in pain, even something as simple as shots, I've held them, held their little legs or arms as they cried, and forced my eyes to stay open and I know they didn't understand but in my mind I was honoring their pain. I couldn't take it from them, but as their momma I would watch and go through every second with them. I wouldn't let them be alone as they suffered. And that is the inadequate, finite, filthy heart of a mother.

    

   Emmanuel, God with us, was with HIM. And, oh how he honored His pain. He was with Him there and though He couldn't take His pain, He watched every second, every awful awful second as He waited for it to achieve its purpose. And it broke His heart. God's pain and fury blackened the sky, dispatched thunder and tore the veil in honor of His Son's pain. I wonder if it still stings when He remembers that. Even though His Son reigns with Him in Eternity and is seated safely next to Him, enthroned in majesty, does He let His heart ache just a little bit? Even if for no other reason than it makes celebrating the resurrection of His child that much sweeter? I wonder what one might see in heaven today.